I Hate Narrow Minded People Who Can’t See Past Their Nose.


I’m a writer. Some days when I have nothing to do, or I find my mind drifting, I lay in bed, open a bottle of cabernet, and grab some cheese and crackers and spend my day releasing all that is in my head.  By sunset, often I have a headache, but I find these blog days very therapeutic.  I often work problems out in my head, make discoveries on my own.  I’m like my own free personal psychologist.

When I was younger, I was often frustrated with people not understanding me, especially my parents.  This caused me to be a troubled teenager, and I believe, engraved a strong rebellious attitude in my personality.  But I was afraid to express myself, because I felt oppressed by a dominating father who forced a Mormon household religion on me, which I did not agree with.

Sharing something a little personal with you…

I got locked up in Juvey hall when I was 13 and lived in different programs and group homes with other juvenile delinquent girls for several years of my teenage life in Provo, UT.  That’s another story, you can read all about it in my crazy ass book, “No Love in the Champagne Room.”  Anyhow… I found it very hard to get along with many of the girls.  I had not developed my own self identity, frustrated with fitting in, I became somebody else.  However, in these programs, we studied therapies and the art of communicating.  It took years of being in programs, but I have learned to efficiently express myself.  I’ve learned to be honest with myself, and express things in a cordial way.  I’ve even studied psychology and thinking patterns which is quite useful.

I think it’s okay to disagree, but to respect others opinions at the same time. I think so many adults in this world are communicating on the level of 13 year olds still.  They never fully understood how to properly form normal bonds with other human beings, or relate with people on a social norm.  I’m thankful for what I have learned, but also, there are battle scars within me that run deep.  I’m not perfect.  I don’t always see the big picture.  But if you explained it to me, and helped me to understand,  I think that I could apologize if I was wrong, come to accept the truth, and move along without holding grudges or feeling any less of a person for being wrong.  Sometimes people have so much pride that they are holding on to.  They can’t be wrong.  And often times… it’s never about who’s right or wrong, it’s about miscommunication.  If there is no communication, there is nothing.

I’m good at expressing myself.  I get frustrated when somebody can’t reciprocate their feelings, or help me understand their point of view.  That is what it boils down to, not disagreeing, but understanding.  The difficult part… finding the conclusion to the dilemma.  Solving the problem.  If you never take a step in the direction of diplomacy then there is no solution.

What Do I Want?


I am a free spirit. A wild woman, a maneater.  I require a strong alpha male, because I will suck all his power up if he is not strong enough to take me on.  I need someone who puts 100% trust in me, and knows no matter what I do, or how things may seem, or how flirtatious I may even be, my end game is him and at the end of the night I’m coming home to him. I’m not the cheating type.  I have been taken for a ride before, I have had my heart broken, and by no  means am I perfect.  I’ve even broke a few hearts.  But everyday is a winding road, and every heart broken is a new lesson learned, and new path carved.

If we become insecure, jealous people, it will never work out!  Jealousy is one of the most unattractive qualities to me.  From time to time, I have been known to be a jealous person.  But that was because the relationships foundations were tainted with trust issues and infidelity.  I will always try to conceal my jealousy.  As for insecurities, we must take it upon ourselves to make that special someone feel like they are the only one for you.   If they’re not, then why are you in it in the first place? Trust and communication is the foundation of a stable relationship. Take away that and it all crumbles from beneath you.  Remember when loyalty and being in love was enough?

If my husband, for example, came home from a trip and told me that he had slept with a hooker, but out of respect for me, was ridden with guilt, and had to tell me the truth, I’d be very upset.  However I’d probably forgive him.  I am after his soul, not his body.  Sex is merely physical.

“It’s not cheating unless you read poetry.”

I need someone who’s strong enough to let me be queen of my world, but still be the assertive male figure, an equal figure, not a dominating person, someone who will stand up to me  and tell me when I am wrong.  Someone I will respect, not someone I will walk all over.  Where do you draw the line without being my bitch?  I have had very subservient men in my life, but this bores me after a while.  I need someone who is going to accept me for who I am and not try to change me.  I never changed for anybody my entire life, why start now?  I am unique, and an acquired taste.  I am not for everybody.  You either love me, or you hate me.

Love is fleeting, we all wind in and out of love throughout a lifetime.  Some of us are afraid to fall in love again.  I like to jump into things head over heels.  Careless, some would say, but I say that I give 100% and I’m not afraid to have my heart broken.  Maybe I’m addicted to the extreme heights of the rushes of being in love, but I have learned to deal with the anguished lows of sad breakups, and dramatic heartbreaks as well.  Some people think I’m cold, because I can easily break up with someone on the opposite end…

“I’m not into this anymore, and I don’t want to take you for a ride.”  Some say that would be cold, being said to a guy utterly head over heels in love with you, but I call it honest.  Some people can’t handle the truth.  But I think the truth is far better than lies and confusing a person hurt with rejection.

Someday I will be loved.

Pimping Your Best Friend


When I think of the term “pimp,” I usually think tacky snake skin shoes and bright yellow suits, lime candy Cadillacs, cheesy hats and bad 80’s fashion.  But today’s pimp is somebody a little bit more incognito.  Somebody who blends in.  Somebody a little bit closer.  Somebody like youre best friend.

The other night I was headed into town to meet a girlfriend late for some drinks.  I called and she told me to meet her at Hush.  I told her I was with a friend, and asked if there was a door cover.  Immediately she asked… “is it a guy?”  What does it matter if it’s a guy?  This is immediately the response most girls ask when you meet up with them.  I happen to be dating this guy and even if he wasn’t there, I wasn’t going to submit to being the “bait” and eye candy to whoever her male company was.  I’m not a geisha, or a call girl, or someone you can just summon to flirt with your male company. I had a social itch, planned to meet my girlfriend for some cocktails, didn’t mind the male company, and I hoped to have a meaningful intellectual conversation with someone.  I usually will go out with a guy friend, regardless if he is a date, or just a really good friend.  I think if you want to talk to me you gotta break down some walls, and if I let some down, maybe you’ll get my number. 😉 I’m a woman with respect for myself.  When I’m out, I’m a woman with class, so if you can’t handle that then hang with the little girls. 

(hey home girl, if you read this, I’m not mad or anything, it was just an epiphany I had at the moment.  I had a great time with your friends and they are super cool!)

Ladies stop pimping your friends!  I thought I left that shit behind in Vegas.