Single Parenting through Difficult Times


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This whole postpartum experience has been immobilizing and has given me an opportunity to spend more time talking to Kai.  We use to be closer.  She is 11 and I’m trying to salvage our relationship before she becomes a teenager I don’t know. We are very close.

People asked me why I didn’t reach out to family.  Well, we’re very different people and their idea of support is imposing their mormon beliefs on me that this was for the best because I’m not married and whatever else they’re thinking.  Although I know their intentions are well, those are not the right words for me right now.

I noticed Kai’s math grades slipping and I had to believe it has to do with all the stress happening at home.  She has been skimming her reading instead of slowing down and internalizing.  It must be really an unhappy place for her to come home to right now.  I feel like I haven’t been doing enough for her.  And I want to take the opportunity to do focus my energies on her.  The last few months have been all about me and I feel I’ve been neglecting her needs emotionally.

Kai is a smart cookie and she has so much potential and talent.  She should be in sports, learning a foreign language, learning an instrument and art and digital media.  She said she wants to play chess.  I think that is a good idea for her cerebral side.  And chess is good to keep the brain sharp and for logic development.  We cleaned out the bookshelf yesterday and are going to get some new books for her to read.  It’s really simple how a little bit of attention and encouragement can positively effect a child’s development.

I read the power of a name report… Kai is an Aries, a leader natural and her name Carolanne implies great power.  My parent technique of being stern is negative for her growth and may hinder her natural leader tendencies.  I have to learn how to be encouraging instead of downing her talents.  As parents we have to learn what is the most conducive technique to hone their best potential.  Kai generally is a good kid, but when I caught her lying about wearing my $180 fly knits which were now stained in red dirt, she was grounded immediately.  She didn’t even fight me when I gave her “how could you do this to mommy when she’s going through a hard time” look.  She knew what she had done.  So I will keep her on grounding until the cleans them.

The most difficult thing I’ve been trying to figure out is how to get her to communicate.  When discussing hard subjects she changes the subjects and avoids it.  I have to drag out the hard emotions which usually end up in tears.  But it’s usually through impatient force I get her to tell me what’s really going on.  I’ve gotten her to open up on some subjects related to her father not being around, and her anger towards me for being a busy single mom, and now how she didn’t feel happy about her baby sister dying and how it was hard for her to help hold mommy down while I was sick and she was really unhappy.  It was a hard time for everyone.  I held her in my arms and hugged her and we hung out and played video games and did Nu Skin mud masks. (:

I’m still clueless what’s the positive way to get her to communicate with me.  She is so guarded..  very secretive.  I notice her friends talking about boys because she borrows my cell phone to text them or sometimes her conversations from my ipad connect to my iPhone.  I don’t even see anything she says about boys.  If she has an interest in boys, she is very guarded about them, unlike her gossipy friends.  It’s so cute how she is at that age now. (: I’m glad she is making more friends at school now.  I guess it’s time for that phone.

I’m going to put Kai in some kind of physical activities.  Either she can continue boxing and Muay Thai at UFC gym or swimming or sport of choice.  Have her learn a foreign language, possibly Japanese or Chinese.  She wants to play chess.  She doesn’t want to learn piano like her mom, but I’ll let her decide what kind of instrument she wants to play. And I will continue to help her hone her artistic skills.  I’m very proud she won an art contest and her art was displayed at the Academy Art Museum.  A little bit of attention can go a long way in giving a child what she needs.  And I feel so horrible I have neglected some of her needs these last few months while I had a complicated pregnancy.

This experience has waken me up to not take time for granted.  Time is precious.  I felt like I had screwed up with Kai.  I had her at a young age and didn’t share the enthusiasm I do now at turning her into a mini me.  I had wanted a baby so I could have a second chance to do it right and create something amazing, but I forgot that I already have a mini piccasso who still needs me. ❤

I do want to try have a baby again some time in the next 4 years before I turn 35.  It’ll be with complications but I know now what those issues are and how to face them.  I want another little girl. (: But for now I’ll work on my first masterpiece a little bit longer.

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xoxo

Learn a new language for FREE


On Iphone I downloaded an ap to learn Japanese and Portuguese for free.  To my amazement, my 5 year old daughter plays on my phone and started picking up Japanese.  It’s a game to her.  There’s an upgrade for a few dollars, and you can even buy the entire computer program for only $50.  Programs like Rosetta Stone cost HUNDREDS of dollars.  They have 70 languages.  Check it out!

Learn a new language.  It’s sexy!

xoxo

Kristie Manning

Time Starts to Pass Before You Know it You’re Frozen…


“Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it.” George Jung. (Johnny Depp) Blow

I asked my daughter what she’s going to do when she grows up.  She said she’s going to do art.  She wants to do 10 things when she’s big.  She wants to paint nails, and play computer.  She wants to make funny faces.  She said she’ll work a lot like Mommy, and give her kids respect and lots of toys.  She says adults don’t play.  I guess she sees me working all the time.

I often think how nice it would be to be a kid again.  When I was young, I couldn’t wait to grow up.   My parent’s always told me, before you know it you’re going to be a grown up and you’re going to wish you were a kid again.  Yeah right, I thought.  I’m tired of my parents bossing me around.

When I was 15 I ran away from home.  I didn’t see my parents for 3 years.  I hustled hard to pay for a hotel at the Prince in Waikiki.  I had enough money for food, but had to eat $1 menu @ Jack in the Crack often.  Once in a while I’d pick up a case of  Smirnoff Ice, or a beer. I didn’t have a lot of clothes, in fact, I could fit it all in a back pack, because sometimes when the hotel’s were full in busy season, I’d go sleep on the beach.  Yeah, I know, I’ve come a long way from my teenage years.  But that much independence taught me life.  I was free and I loved it.  I was living it up.  I wish I could go back to living in a shack by the beach, little responsibility, being happy, and feeling young again.

Now, I live in a luxury 2 bedroom condo, have 3 cars, a beautiful daughter, 5 credit cards, and an ample list of bills.  The quality of life is definitely improved, and the company is better than the last time, but I can’t help but sometimes feel like I’m not going the places I want to.  I am still pursuing my education as a fashion designer.  But I have so many passions and can’t focus it all.  I love art.  I’m a musician and composer.  I’m the creative type.  I love film and theatre, and composition.  I love food and wine, and travel.  I am in love with love itself.  Constantly looking for the perfect love (if I haven’t already passed it by).   I love writing.  Modeling.  Photography.  Expression.  This blog is my way to share my soul with the world, and feel like I am doing something worthwhile.  I’m stuck in Vegas until my lease is up in May, and I just feel like I am dying here.

I’m the ambitious type and sometimes I get caught up and lose it.  Sometimes you just have to pick up and go somewhere new and start all over.  I feel sorry for people who get caught up in something that is no good for them.  A drug addiction.  A bad relationship.  The wrong city.  A dead end career.  They are all so separate subjects, but can be equally deadly.

Know which way the wind blows. It’s sending me to LA.

Begin doing what you want to do now.  We are not living in eternity.  We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.

xoxo

Kristie Manning

Ode to Local Kine Junk Food


I”m surrounded by junk food!  It’s so hard not to buy it all!

Ginger Senbei

Ling Hi Miu Seed, Pickled Mango, Crystalized Ginger.

Strawberry Azkuki Daifuku Mochi

My favorite Senbei! The perct amount of salty and sweet in every bite.

Bubble Drinks.  I use to go to the Ranch Market in Salt Lake.

Sugared Portuguese Doughtnuts, Malasadas, sometimes filled with haupia (coconut pudding)

Azuki bean, mochi shave ice.  The best is at Rainbow Garden @ Aiea Shopping Center!They also have fresh toppings like my favorite chocolate tapioca, homemade pudding, and fresh taro!  They have  a variety of snacks such as lemon peel, ling hi mui, and fresh manapuas as well.

Lemon Crunch Cake from Aiea Bowl!  The best cake ever!

Manapua’s.  I like the char sui (bbq pork) and chicken curry filled.

As you can see Pocky comes in a variety of flavors such as chocolate, strawberry and almond.  They even come in “giant” sized.  I remember I even tried sesame, green tea, and apricot flavor.  I am sure they have a huge variety of flavors in Japan.  These are little kids favorites as they’re soft to chew on.

the Fox, the Cock and the Dog


One moonlight night a Fox was prowling about a farmer’s hen-coop, and saw a Cock roosting high up beyond his reach.

“Good news, good news!” he cried.

“Why, what is that?” said the Cock.

“King Lion has declared a universal truce. No beast may hurt a bird henceforth, but all shall dwell together in brotherly friendship.”

“Why, that is good news,” said the Cock; “and there I see some one coming, with whom we can share the good tidings.” And so saying he craned his neck forward and looked afar off.

“What is it you see?” said the Fox.

“It is only my master’s Dog that is coming towards us. What, going so soon?” he continued, as the Fox began to turn away as soon as he had heard the news. “Will you not stop and congratulate the Dog on the reign of universal peace?”

“I would gladly do so,” said the Fox, “but I fear he may not have heard of King Lion’s decree.”

Cunning often outwits itself