Politics 101: The ABC’s


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If you think you’re a Democrat and supported Hillary because you are pro marijuana, pro choice or pro LGBT rights, then you are just on the surface of understanding the deeper complexities of politics.  I’m not here to assuade you into converting and supporting my political beliefs.  But I want everyone out there to be free thinkers and decide for themselves.

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The debate.

We all have our views, and if we were to become politicians we would all be considered lobbyists. Because everyone is lobbying for some right for financial benefactor.  So all of this nonsense to “drain the swamp” is impossible, because nobody genuinely gets involved in the ugly, sticky web of politics because they love America and want to save the country.  Everyone has an agenda and if you think they’re just all patriotic nationals who want to save us, OPEN YOUR EYES.

One thing I can’t stand is not staying objective.  I love politics and you have to respect others opinions to fully enjoy it.  You have to have an understanding that no side is right nor wrong, but you have to be accepting of others views even though they differ from your own. The reason I like debating politics is because you become more informed.  Even if you don’t agree, you understand what the opposing sides are saying about each  other and sometimes even enlightened to more information on subjects in the media that you may have not covered.  If you’re going to debate politics you can’t take it personal.  But when people disagree, they start to take it personal.

Calling someone racist when debating a racial subject is elementary and amateur.  Politicians avoid race baiting subjects because they don’t want the labels.  I commend Trump for boldly addressing these issues, although they backlashed with him being labeled as a racist.  Or when someone attacks your personal credentials and puts themselves on a pedestal by displaying their education, rewards, merits etc.  Hypothetically if I didn’t graduate high school and caught the bus to IHOP to wait tables every day, but was just really well read, doesn’t make my views less credible than someone with an education who brags about their overachievements.  I’ve had some of the most idiot conversations with some of the most supposedly educated people.

So I was a stripper for 12 years.  I get this rebuttle so much. What does that have to do with anything?  My opinions are invalid because your narrow minded judgements of who I am invalidates my intelligence.  Then why are you debating with me if I’m such a low life in the first place?  A conservative would judge your as a gay left wing abomination.  And you look at me like I’m an uneducated moral-less stripper. And I look at prostitutes and drug addicts like they’re trash.  And they look at rapists and serial killers as bottom of the barrel.  But the rapists and serial killers rape the terrorists and treasonists in prison.  Anyways… everyone wants to put everyone on a pedestal.  But I’ve learned to accept differences and pick your opponents.  Arguing with a close minded, ignorant and uneducated person with different lifestyles serves me no purpose.

The Issues.

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Be sure you are informed on the issues.  It’s easy to get caught up in pop culture and media that we don’t even know what the issues are.  What is important to you?  I am extremely pro life.  I’m anti-illegal immigration, and I’m a big believer that we need to revisit our trade policies and military spending.  Our economy is suffering and this is due to taxation and globalism.  We need to incentivize our American companies to grow our economy.  We’re losing too many industries to globalism.  Isis is a huge problem and we need a new plan. I’m republican on taxes and republican on many of these major issues.

HOWEVER… when I was younger I considered myself a Democrat.   This was because I have liberal social views ie. welfare, take care of the people, the planet, gay rights, pro choice and pro marijuana.  So, today I have molded to a centrist or rockafeller/progressive Republican.  I am very liberal and modern on social issues because I’m not a religiously driven political person on my moral high ground, like most conservatives.

Take the time to read the issues on each politicians views on the issues.  You’d be surprised how much you really agree with someone who you may have first judged.  I was in support of Rand Paul.  Knowing he didn’t have a chance, I started to look at Cruz and Trump.  I started to see I had less in common with a more conservative Cruz, and more in common with liberals like Clinton and Bernie Sanders.  However, Trumps message and stances were clear to me and his middle of the road stances were more appealing than a conservative.

The Left and the Right.

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There are different degrees of being on the right, the left and in the center.  I don’t like to label myself in one specific party.  Most people want to stereotype each party to the most extreme, but the truth is that there are good points on both sides.  We just need to be informed, and make a decision and be a free thinker for what best resonates in our hearts and minds.

I have said this (with much back lash) that I think social issues like gay rights, marijuana and abortion should be done away with in politics.  This often gets misconstrued as I am pro life, pro marijuana and pro gay rights.  HOWEVER… Putting these non-moral (as judged by the conservatives)  issues into the mix creates the left liberals.  Imagine taking away those issues from politics, and the liberal party would be destroyed.  I say this not because I don’t think these issues are important, I say it because it’s creating noise.  I am pro life, however I think the government shouldn’t have a say in any of these issues, and they are only big influences in elections.  The left would be eliminated if those issues were no longer involved. And the conservative party would melt into the rest of the republicans. This election the “alt right” has evolved into more extreme conservatism.  We would start to pay attention to the issues that matter.  I’m not gay, but I advocate for them to have their rights.  I for one am personally tired of the government telling us what to do with our lives and our bodies and these silly social issues.  It’s like we can’t govern our selves so we need the government to tell us how to live.

The Media.

I watch BOTH left and right media.  It’s good to understand both perspectives, but we have to understand that what that right and left bias means, what the agendas are to propagate what messages, and we cannot allow repetitive messages to influence our thinking.  We have to learn to be free thinkers, use our knowledge on the facts, what we have learned from politics and make our own decisions.  At the end of the election so many people were caught up with silly media stories attacking each politician, they couldn’t even tell you what the issues are.

Be careful for media outlets that report constant negativity about certain parties.  Be careful for media outlets that report one certain kind of issue constantly ie. left media likes black on police crime, right media likes to post on anti-muslim and propagates lots of violent and ill-informed stories about muslim violence.  Look at a story and think, who is benefiting from this.  Everything is a racket and most likely someone is propagating the story.  If you see an article about pro choice, and they have an ad for planned parenthood, you can bet your ass off they funded it.  Or recently, the riots have been attributed to being orchestrated by globalists who manipulate the currency to crash markets and capitalize.  Everything has an agenda, and often, we don’t even know what they are.

Be Informed.

Some of us have no idea what is even going on in the world.  Facebook is NOT a source of media.  Although it gets you in the right direction of knowing what is actually going on in the world, most of it is bias and often false.  When I see a subject I am interested in, I go to google and find credible news sources.  Often it’s hard to find credible news sources.  So I just read both left and right and come to my own conclusion based of my own knowledge and common sense and evaluating the sources.  Some people don’t have the best knowledge or common sense unfortunately. But we owe it to ourself to just educate ourselves and be informed.  The more you read on a subject, the more you get informed.  Watch documentaries.  I love documentaries, they are a plethora of information.  Read, read and READ some more.  When you find information that conflicts, dig deeper.  You will mostly always find your answer.

The Complexities.

You can be informed and well read, but at the end of the day, we are all in the dark.  Understanding the complexities of politics and not only the surface of the issues are important.  Like how Trump supported conservative social views during the election to maintain the conservative vote, and won, then shortly announced his liberal social views on not changing laws on abortion, but giving the power to the state, being pro marijuana and stating that he won’t change the gay communities rights.  These are things that I think many people were aware of and his pro conservative views didn’t stray away his supporters.

Then there are the underlying reasons why we have policies that we don’t understand.  Things that are confidential.  Things that the American people cannot understand.  We have to understand there are many secrets we don’t understand.  In my opinion, why would we keep a horrible trade deal w China?  I think they are holding us hostage, we are in debt to them, we continue to go into debt with them, and they control our currency.  Hypothetically lets say Obama wanted to close our trade gap, and they threatened to crash our currency if we don’t give into their demands.  Obama took the diplomatic approach to protect us on the surface, but we are in trouble in the long run.  This is very conspiratorial talk, but hypothetically there are lots of shadows in the dark that we the people do not see.  Let’s say hypothetically Trump took funding out of Israel.  Now the Jew’s who control our banks do something to manipulate our currency.  We’re balancing and protecting ourselves from manipulation. It’s like a game of thrones, a balance of manipulation and power and we don’t fully understand what is truly going on, but we need to factor that into our decisions.  We get mad at this unbalance, and we bring in our troops because that is our strong hand.  This is why we have cabinet members and advisors, not to lead for us or impose their views.  To educate the leader in areas he is not versed in, so that he can make good decisions in the best interest of the people.

Let’s propose I am pro life (right).  However I am pro gay rights (left).  Donald Trump is filling his cabinet with ultra conservatives who are for taking away abortion rights and gay rights.  Realistically, I understand that these are not as big political agendas as they are for the people.  I should use my judgement to decide that Trump is not after taking these rights away.  He has left it open to states to make decisions on abortion.  It is a middle ground where he feels pro life about the subject, but understands the need for much of the population to yield that right, so he is checking the balance by giving the power to the state and giving the people some power to get abortions in certain states.   He needs to do what he feels is right.  And no side is right.  But this is fair as the pro life’s get some lives saved and some structure, where as the pro choicers have some states to practice their rights.  As for gay rights, I’m under the assumption that Trump only supported anti gay for the conservative vote and now that election time is over, he is all about supporting the gay community.

VOTE.

Most people think their vote doesn’t matter.  But look what happened.  I never believed in 1000 years that Trump would win!  But here he is, our next Commander in Chief.  The people have spoken and they want Trump for their next president.  If so many people opposed them, maybe they should have voted.

TO SUM IT UP

  • Learn to debate openly, respectfully and objectively.
  • Understand the left and the right sides and what their objectives are.  Don’t be manipulated into choosing a side. Often people are neither left nor right.
  • Research the issues. Don’t be a retard and allow Facebook memes and media clips to form your ideas and views.
  • Understand the power of the media.  Watch both Liberal and Conservative media and make your own decisions.  Understand  difference between agendas and propaganda from un bias media.
  • Be informed.  Read.  Watch documentaries.  Have debates.  Be active.  Learn about what is really happening in the world.  Don’t give in to laziness and trusting the media.  Do your own research.  Question yourself.  Question others.  Question the media.
  • There are complexities in politics to be understood which involve psychology, confidentiality, security etc.  Our interpretation depends on our own intelligence, our problem solving skills, or ability to make judgements.
  • VOTE.  Your voice counts.

xoxo

 

How to Pick a Partner


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Nope that’s not what I meant… but LOL

How do you pick a partner?  I don’t f***ing know.  I’m hopelessly single.  But I do know what I look for in a relationship.  My sister recently told me about a book that teaches you what to look for in a relationship.  I guess this is from the “post-divorce” section of the book store.  Nobody is perfect, but it’s finding the person who is compatible for us to make something last.

  1. Find out how you fight.  What is your fighting style?  Do you blow up and get emotional?  Are you unforgiving?  Are you too quick to forgive? Do you run away and blow off steam.  Are you unresponsive and avoid your issues?  The way two people deal with issues can make or break you.  I may be emotional and fiery in a moment and quick to cool down and forgive.  So maybe being with someone who understands that and understands to back away from the situation is the best person for me.  But even if that is not the case.  If he understands how you feel, maybe he can make that compromise to deal with you differently than he normally would because he understand that is how you deal with things, and you could make an effort to understand your way of dealing with things can be destructive and even though you may fail a few times, try to practice a more rational approach.  #growth

2. Find out how their parents “damaged” them.  Our parents are all good people (most of them) and their intention is never to hurt you, but we can’t help but have quirks in our personality or something negative about ourselves we inherited from our parents.  Me, for example, I have my dads temper.  And my parents controlling attitudes manifested in rebellion.  Taking the first step of self realization is important in personal development.  And expressing those weaknesses to your other half is a step in understanding the inner workings of their mind and how their pains or misunderstandings have developed into obstacles in their lives.  Being rebellious has hurt me in school, in work and in relationships.  Once I understood where this rebellious attitude came from, I realized, I don’t need to be rebellious anymore, and I let it go.  And I will never have that same attitudes towards raising my daughter.  I had a friend once tell me his dad unintentionally damaged him.  His grandfather was a championship boxer.  And he was a jerk and use to beat up people.  He even beat up the mail man once.  His father hated it so much, that he was a peaceful person.  He mistook this for his dad “being a pussy.”  This instilled in his mind, and he went through an extremely rebellious period that he had to be “hard” and “gangster” to prove himself, and this time period where gangster rap and rebellious attitudes was a “trend” contributed to the issue.

3. Ask them to name their best traits and a few of their worst.  Give them time to show they have good self esteem.  A person with poor self esteem will have a hard time talking positively about themselves.  And someone who can be honest and real about their short comings understands themselves and shows promise for growth.

My best: Sexy, Intelligent, Competitive, Ambitious.

My Worst: Impatient. Fickle. Retaliating. Emotional.

4.  What are you goals?  Have an understanding of what is in your future.  Is it ambition?  Big business? Small business? Marriage? Children? Do you have desire to do philanthropical work?  Often This is a major stopping point for me.  I’ve met so many great people that I’m compatible with, but often one is terrified of children, or some are divorced and never want to marry again.  I have a child, so sometimes instal-family isn’t always what people thought it was and they are left thinking… “I signed up for this?”  Having these conversations early is a great way to begin a relationship.  Nonetheless… people don’t always know what they want, and in the moment they could’ve  thought this is what they wanted, and 6 months or 8 years down the road, they could decide still, this is not what I want.  Make sure that what you want is clear.  Don’t give into wants, egos and desires.  Look at this maturely from an outside perspective and genuinely come to meet someone that has mutual goals as you.  Be honest.  I think people tend to mask their true feelings with lies to prevent being hurt again.  I think opening up to love is greater than being stuck in single land, but really missing having something great again but being too scared to take a chance.  I’ve ran into that a lot and it’s a lot more common than you know.  I’ve been guilty of it, especially after an intense break up, when you need time to heal.

5. Find out their personality types.  And how they make decisions.  There are 4 personality types.  Imagine a cross with 4 segments.  The upper is dominant, the lower is submissive.  The other sides are divided by rule breakers and rule followers.  When you intertwine these 4 traits they create 4 personality types.  Understanding the way these personalities interact with one another will bring strength to the relationship.  It’s not about being compatible.  Each relationships has different strengths and weaknesses, and understand what they are will help you to emphasize on those strengths, and how to improve on your weaknesses.  I am a monkey.  I am unfocused party animals, promoter, instigater, wild, etc.  A lion is a leader and in business can help me stay grounded and focused.  But in a relationship, an owl is the thinking quiet methodical type and is actually best for me because they keep me grounded.  Other monkeys are great for friends and party people.  And Koalas are a good emotional support for me, but I know for a fact I could NEVER date a Koala.  And dating another monkey would be like dating a Gemini.  I’ve done it, and it lacks the emotional stability I need.  Although, it’s a lot of fun, the grounding energies of a Lion or an Owl is what I need.

I’m still unsure about what the decision making options are.  I understand I am emotional and not rational and I look to my partner to come up with a solution.  I get really upset when my partner makes a decision without me.  He doesn’t need my permission but discussing things is always healthy.

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There are many facets of relationships such as communication, political/social/economic/religious views, financial stability, emotional issues etc. However, having a deeper understanding of the person you are with will help you or ultimately break you in the end.  Every relationship is hard and takes work and dedication, but the base for a healthy relationship that is going to last will be dependent on if you have a solid FOUNDATION and this comes from a mature understanding.

If you’re running a business, conventional wisdom states that you’re a much more effective business owner if you study business in school, create well thought-out business plans, and analyze your business’s performance diligently. This is logical, because that’s the way you proceed when you want to do something well and minimize mistakes.

But if someone went to school to learn about how to pick a life partner and take part in a healthy relationship, if they charted out a detailed plan of action to find one, and if they kept their progress organized rigorously in a spreadsheet, society says they’re A) an over-rational robot, B) way too concerned about this, and C) a huge weirdo.

#compatibility

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xoxo

I Hate Narrow Minded People Who Can’t See Past Their Nose.


I’m a writer. Some days when I have nothing to do, or I find my mind drifting, I lay in bed, open a bottle of cabernet, and grab some cheese and crackers and spend my day releasing all that is in my head.  By sunset, often I have a headache, but I find these blog days very therapeutic.  I often work problems out in my head, make discoveries on my own.  I’m like my own free personal psychologist.

When I was younger, I was often frustrated with people not understanding me, especially my parents.  This caused me to be a troubled teenager, and I believe, engraved a strong rebellious attitude in my personality.  But I was afraid to express myself, because I felt oppressed by a dominating father who forced a Mormon household religion on me, which I did not agree with.

Sharing something a little personal with you…

I got locked up in Juvey hall when I was 13 and lived in different programs and group homes with other juvenile delinquent girls for several years of my teenage life in Provo, UT.  That’s another story, you can read all about it in my crazy ass book, “No Love in the Champagne Room.”  Anyhow… I found it very hard to get along with many of the girls.  I had not developed my own self identity, frustrated with fitting in, I became somebody else.  However, in these programs, we studied therapies and the art of communicating.  It took years of being in programs, but I have learned to efficiently express myself.  I’ve learned to be honest with myself, and express things in a cordial way.  I’ve even studied psychology and thinking patterns which is quite useful.

I think it’s okay to disagree, but to respect others opinions at the same time. I think so many adults in this world are communicating on the level of 13 year olds still.  They never fully understood how to properly form normal bonds with other human beings, or relate with people on a social norm.  I’m thankful for what I have learned, but also, there are battle scars within me that run deep.  I’m not perfect.  I don’t always see the big picture.  But if you explained it to me, and helped me to understand,  I think that I could apologize if I was wrong, come to accept the truth, and move along without holding grudges or feeling any less of a person for being wrong.  Sometimes people have so much pride that they are holding on to.  They can’t be wrong.  And often times… it’s never about who’s right or wrong, it’s about miscommunication.  If there is no communication, there is nothing.

I’m good at expressing myself.  I get frustrated when somebody can’t reciprocate their feelings, or help me understand their point of view.  That is what it boils down to, not disagreeing, but understanding.  The difficult part… finding the conclusion to the dilemma.  Solving the problem.  If you never take a step in the direction of diplomacy then there is no solution.

What Do I Want?


I am a free spirit. A wild woman, a maneater.  I require a strong alpha male, because I will suck all his power up if he is not strong enough to take me on.  I need someone who puts 100% trust in me, and knows no matter what I do, or how things may seem, or how flirtatious I may even be, my end game is him and at the end of the night I’m coming home to him. I’m not the cheating type.  I have been taken for a ride before, I have had my heart broken, and by no  means am I perfect.  I’ve even broke a few hearts.  But everyday is a winding road, and every heart broken is a new lesson learned, and new path carved.

If we become insecure, jealous people, it will never work out!  Jealousy is one of the most unattractive qualities to me.  From time to time, I have been known to be a jealous person.  But that was because the relationships foundations were tainted with trust issues and infidelity.  I will always try to conceal my jealousy.  As for insecurities, we must take it upon ourselves to make that special someone feel like they are the only one for you.   If they’re not, then why are you in it in the first place? Trust and communication is the foundation of a stable relationship. Take away that and it all crumbles from beneath you.  Remember when loyalty and being in love was enough?

If my husband, for example, came home from a trip and told me that he had slept with a hooker, but out of respect for me, was ridden with guilt, and had to tell me the truth, I’d be very upset.  However I’d probably forgive him.  I am after his soul, not his body.  Sex is merely physical.

“It’s not cheating unless you read poetry.”

I need someone who’s strong enough to let me be queen of my world, but still be the assertive male figure, an equal figure, not a dominating person, someone who will stand up to me  and tell me when I am wrong.  Someone I will respect, not someone I will walk all over.  Where do you draw the line without being my bitch?  I have had very subservient men in my life, but this bores me after a while.  I need someone who is going to accept me for who I am and not try to change me.  I never changed for anybody my entire life, why start now?  I am unique, and an acquired taste.  I am not for everybody.  You either love me, or you hate me.

Love is fleeting, we all wind in and out of love throughout a lifetime.  Some of us are afraid to fall in love again.  I like to jump into things head over heels.  Careless, some would say, but I say that I give 100% and I’m not afraid to have my heart broken.  Maybe I’m addicted to the extreme heights of the rushes of being in love, but I have learned to deal with the anguished lows of sad breakups, and dramatic heartbreaks as well.  Some people think I’m cold, because I can easily break up with someone on the opposite end…

“I’m not into this anymore, and I don’t want to take you for a ride.”  Some say that would be cold, being said to a guy utterly head over heels in love with you, but I call it honest.  Some people can’t handle the truth.  But I think the truth is far better than lies and confusing a person hurt with rejection.

Someday I will be loved.