Pimping Your Best Friend


When I think of the term “pimp,” I usually think tacky snake skin shoes and bright yellow suits, lime candy Cadillacs, cheesy hats and bad 80’s fashion.  But today’s pimp is somebody a little bit more incognito.  Somebody who blends in.  Somebody a little bit closer.  Somebody like youre best friend.

The other night I was headed into town to meet a girlfriend late for some drinks.  I called and she told me to meet her at Hush.  I told her I was with a friend, and asked if there was a door cover.  Immediately she asked… “is it a guy?”  What does it matter if it’s a guy?  This is immediately the response most girls ask when you meet up with them.  I happen to be dating this guy and even if he wasn’t there, I wasn’t going to submit to being the “bait” and eye candy to whoever her male company was.  I’m not a geisha, or a call girl, or someone you can just summon to flirt with your male company. I had a social itch, planned to meet my girlfriend for some cocktails, didn’t mind the male company, and I hoped to have a meaningful intellectual conversation with someone.  I usually will go out with a guy friend, regardless if he is a date, or just a really good friend.  I think if you want to talk to me you gotta break down some walls, and if I let some down, maybe you’ll get my number. 😉 I’m a woman with respect for myself.  When I’m out, I’m a woman with class, so if you can’t handle that then hang with the little girls. 

(hey home girl, if you read this, I’m not mad or anything, it was just an epiphany I had at the moment.  I had a great time with your friends and they are super cool!)

Ladies stop pimping your friends!  I thought I left that shit behind in Vegas.

Last Call For Booty Call


So, as you all know, I am moving back to Hawaii.  2 long years in Las Vegas, and I am finally over it.  Spending time in Hawaii in October and December put things into perspective.  Hawaii is the bomb!  And why the fuck would anyone move from Hawaii to Vegas?  Yeah, I guess Vegas is a good place to make money, and that’s about it.  I made a lot of acquaintences along the way, and made some fun international/travel friends, but it is definitely not the place for me.

I am a sexually experienced woman, not afraid to be promiscuous, but I am not easy, and do not sleep with anybody, unless I intended to in the first place.  I”m not a prude or a game player.  I do what I want, and if that includes sleeping with you, then I don’t want to be judged for it.  Did you know that a woman knows, the first time she makes eye contact with you, whether or not she is going to sleep with you?  Yes, that decision is made the first second she lays eyes on you.  But sometimes there are more factors than that.

Since I have been back for a week in Las Vegas, a handful of men have decided to confess their affections for me.  Why wait now?  I’m sure if they did a year ago, that I would have dated them.  I probably liked them (some of them) at one point or another too.  But after becoming friends, you get passed that “crush” state.  Supposedly, I am intimidating, and most guys are afraid to even try to make the move because they are afraid of rejection.  Well, my friends, 2010 was a dry year for me, and I think if more men had the courage to even ask me out, I probably would have dated them.  But that goes to show how many men are cowards. 

So why are they all suddenly confessing their affections for me, now that I am leaving, and they have no chance of sleeping with me?  Are men all typical?  They want that last call booty call.

Last Call Jalapeno Popper Dorito’s are the best!

xoxo

Kristie

My Blurry New Years


It started off by having drinks all afternoon at Femme Nu, where 3 of my girlfriends, and 2 other guys met me at Ichiriki for dinner.  We got bombed on beer, sake, guavatinis and shiso mojitos.  After that we all parked our cars at Pearl and consolidated.  Stacy and I walked in Pearl to use the bathroom before we head out to Yard House.  On the way to Yard House, she discovers she left her iPhone at Pearl and continued to call it until the bathroom attendant answered it.  They dropped us off and went back to get their phone.  The 4 of us walked over to Rum Fire where I lost my friends and watched the fireworks from the beach alone.  My other 2 friends, now back at Yard House, and my other friend who just met up txt me to come back to Yard House.  My phone is about to die, so I jump in a cab and head back to Yard House in the middle of the fireworks.  My phone is blowing up with about 10 people that I am suppose to meet at Kelly Oneil’s down the street. 

It’s 5 after midnight, and my girlfriend is wasted and wants to go downtown to see her Dad by Bar 35.  I have a lot of friend’s waiting for me, and I tell her that we should go to down the street to Kelly’s for 30 minutes, then we can go downtown for the rest of the night.  She didn’t listen and just left.  I figured she was wasted, but I was pretty pissed, and I told her to just go home, and not come meet up with us later.  Regardless, my other 3 friends came back from Rumfire, and we all walked over to Kelly Oneil’s. 

As we walked out of Yard House, 15 minutes after midnight, I got a hysterical call from some guy’s girlfriend.  I guess the night before I had met somebody, read my previous blog about the guy who I met at Femme Nu who tried to seduce me, then told me we can’t go back to his place because he had a girlfriend.  His girlfriend stalked my Facebook page, found my number, apparently follows my blogs now.  Because she calls me screaming that she read my blog.  Frustrated, because she had called me earlier as well, and just finishing a jack and water and a little buzzed, I screamed at her to stop fucking call me, and to come down to Kelly Oneil’s and talk to my face, but stop calling me.  She threatened me a bit, then refused to come down, because “she was hanging with her family.”

1st of all… Don’t believe everything you read.  Not everything you read on the internet is reliable.  These are stories, and sometimes entertainment, inspired from real events.

2nd of all… You need to be trippin on your man, not me, because if you believe everything you read, I DON”T WANT YOUR  FUCKING MAN! 

So we all walk back to my friends place nearby where I’m irritated by my phone blowing up by this girl.  So I think in my drunken stupor, I slam my iPhone on my friends granite counter.  It is no longer working.  So my 2 friends end up hooking up in the bedroom, where there is no door.  Trying to ignore them, we start our own party in the living room.  They are all drinking Four Loco, the malt beverage that has been illegalized because too many teenagers are dying off of it.  It is 13% alcohol.  I sipped on Seagrams Sweet Tea.  Great drink by the way!   After a while, I started crying about my ex, who my friend brought up, who everybody know’s I’ve always loved for 3 years.  And I play a drunk stupid ass for 5 minutes.  Then me and my girlfriend start fooling around and film everything. LOL!  It was a fun night! 

Then in the morning, my gf who left calls me because I have her car keys, and we all left our cars at Alamoana.  So we meet at Original Pancake house over on Kapiolani.  There’s a 30 minute wait, so we head over to Mai Tai to have breakfast and drinks.  All I eat is a couple pieces of sashimi, and 2 bloody marys.  Me and my girlfriend (the sober one) drive to northshore to pick up her son in La’ie.  We head to my place to get ready, and back to my other friends, where they drove my car to.  Shaking from lack of sleep, lack of food, and alcohol withdrawals, I drink to glasses of wine, and try some of my friends great greek salad, and bbq.  My stomach was jacked up so I didn’t get to eat too much.  We crash out here.

In the morning, I take 3 IB Profen.  After 10 minutes I start to feel super warm and fuzzy and drowsy.  I thought maybe I was still hanging.  But then my friend realized that they are actually Flexural.  I think they looked like Percocet.  But Anyhow.  We go back to the beach house and La’ie where I am trashed all day, but get to relax and try to rest.  After that, we drive to DnBs to take the kids to play, where I have 2 Corona’s.  At this point, I’m finally feeling better, but I know it’s time to sleep. 

It may be all confusing, but I drove responsibly this weekend. LOL! I left my car, and even had it towed at one point.

What I look for in a guy.


Things I look for in a guy…

. funny
. intelligent
. tattoos are sexy *but it’s not a prerequisite
. attractive
. takes care of himself
. this includes exercising and eating healthy
. has good style
. I ❤ metro guys not afraid to be pretty and have a good fashion sense ;D
. color is not an issue, but I’ve always been attracted to exotic men, not white guys
. confident and not the jealous type
. I ain’t sayin I’m a gold digger, but I ain’t messin with no broke nigga
. financially secure and independent
. not needy, and accepting of my busy schedule
. gotta be good in bed ;D

. neat, I can’t stand messy people
. fun to be around
. intellectual
. good with children, family oriented,
. honest
. share similar interests
. someone who respects my space and privacy. Just because I don’t call doesn’t mean I’m not interested. Or
just because I go out with you one time, doesn’t mean I am interested. SO STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE. I’ll call if I want to hang out.
. don’t make it too easy, take your time.
. I like being romanced. 😉
. someone who shares my lifestyle, a lifestyle that’s not for everybody
. I’ve always been attracted to the shy guy. Shy and quiet, but confident. I am loud enough for the 2 of us. 😉
. a faithful person.
. Someone who’s okay with me stealing the spotlight.
. Trusting
. ambitious, and goal oriented
. I want perfection. Why settle for less? “Raise the bar”, a friend once told me.
. Someone I can grow with, someone who doesn’t bring me down, or encourage me to be unproductive.
. Someone as passionate as me.
. Someone who will tell me when I am wrong.
. Someone who knows how to communicate and work through things.  Nobody is perfect.
. Someone who knows what making love is really about.

OR

JOHNNY DEPP!