“Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it.” George Jung. (Johnny Depp) Blow
I asked my daughter what she’s going to do when she grows up. She said she’s going to do art. She wants to do 10 things when she’s big. She wants to paint nails, and play computer. She wants to make funny faces. She said she’ll work a lot like Mommy, and give her kids respect and lots of toys. She says adults don’t play. I guess she sees me working all the time.
I often think how nice it would be to be a kid again. When I was young, I couldn’t wait to grow up. My parent’s always told me, before you know it you’re going to be a grown up and you’re going to wish you were a kid again. Yeah right, I thought. I’m tired of my parents bossing me around.
When I was 15 I ran away from home. I didn’t see my parents for 3 years. I hustled hard to pay for a hotel at the Prince in Waikiki. I had enough money for food, but had to eat $1 menu @ Jack in the Crack often. Once in a while I’d pick up a case of Smirnoff Ice, or a beer. I didn’t have a lot of clothes, in fact, I could fit it all in a back pack, because sometimes when the hotel’s were full in busy season, I’d go sleep on the beach. Yeah, I know, I’ve come a long way from my teenage years. But that much independence taught me life. I was free and I loved it. I was living it up. I wish I could go back to living in a shack by the beach, little responsibility, being happy, and feeling young again.
Now, I live in a luxury 2 bedroom condo, have 3 cars, a beautiful daughter, 5 credit cards, and an ample list of bills. The quality of life is definitely improved, and the company is better than the last time, but I can’t help but sometimes feel like I’m not going the places I want to. I am still pursuing my education as a fashion designer. But I have so many passions and can’t focus it all. I love art. I’m a musician and composer. I’m the creative type. I love film and theatre, and composition. I love food and wine, and travel. I am in love with love itself. Constantly looking for the perfect love (if I haven’t already passed it by). I love writing. Modeling. Photography. Expression. This blog is my way to share my soul with the world, and feel like I am doing something worthwhile. I’m stuck in Vegas until my lease is up in May, and I just feel like I am dying here.
I’m the ambitious type and sometimes I get caught up and lose it. Sometimes you just have to pick up and go somewhere new and start all over. I feel sorry for people who get caught up in something that is no good for them. A drug addiction. A bad relationship. The wrong city. A dead end career. They are all so separate subjects, but can be equally deadly.
Know which way the wind blows. It’s sending me to LA.
Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.