What Do I Want?


I am a free spirit. A wild woman, a maneater.  I require a strong alpha male, because I will suck all his power up if he is not strong enough to take me on.  I need someone who puts 100% trust in me, and knows no matter what I do, or how things may seem, or how flirtatious I may even be, my end game is him and at the end of the night I’m coming home to him. I’m not the cheating type.  I have been taken for a ride before, I have had my heart broken, and by no  means am I perfect.  I’ve even broke a few hearts.  But everyday is a winding road, and every heart broken is a new lesson learned, and new path carved.

If we become insecure, jealous people, it will never work out!  Jealousy is one of the most unattractive qualities to me.  From time to time, I have been known to be a jealous person.  But that was because the relationships foundations were tainted with trust issues and infidelity.  I will always try to conceal my jealousy.  As for insecurities, we must take it upon ourselves to make that special someone feel like they are the only one for you.   If they’re not, then why are you in it in the first place? Trust and communication is the foundation of a stable relationship. Take away that and it all crumbles from beneath you.  Remember when loyalty and being in love was enough?

If my husband, for example, came home from a trip and told me that he had slept with a hooker, but out of respect for me, was ridden with guilt, and had to tell me the truth, I’d be very upset.  However I’d probably forgive him.  I am after his soul, not his body.  Sex is merely physical.

“It’s not cheating unless you read poetry.”

I need someone who’s strong enough to let me be queen of my world, but still be the assertive male figure, an equal figure, not a dominating person, someone who will stand up to me  and tell me when I am wrong.  Someone I will respect, not someone I will walk all over.  Where do you draw the line without being my bitch?  I have had very subservient men in my life, but this bores me after a while.  I need someone who is going to accept me for who I am and not try to change me.  I never changed for anybody my entire life, why start now?  I am unique, and an acquired taste.  I am not for everybody.  You either love me, or you hate me.

Love is fleeting, we all wind in and out of love throughout a lifetime.  Some of us are afraid to fall in love again.  I like to jump into things head over heels.  Careless, some would say, but I say that I give 100% and I’m not afraid to have my heart broken.  Maybe I’m addicted to the extreme heights of the rushes of being in love, but I have learned to deal with the anguished lows of sad breakups, and dramatic heartbreaks as well.  Some people think I’m cold, because I can easily break up with someone on the opposite end…

“I’m not into this anymore, and I don’t want to take you for a ride.”  Some say that would be cold, being said to a guy utterly head over heels in love with you, but I call it honest.  Some people can’t handle the truth.  But I think the truth is far better than lies and confusing a person hurt with rejection.

Someday I will be loved.

The One That Got Away.


What would you do? Be the other woman? You’re an unconventional thinker. Secure with yourself and confident. This is not a desperate attempt of an insecure individual. The guy still loves you. He cheats on her with other girls, but it’s different  if he cheats on her with you. He feels guilty, because it’s not cheating unless you read poetry. And the 2 of you definitely read poetry together. Would you stare at a life on better legs and let it slide?

She’s 10 years older than him. She’s 40! Sure she’s safe. But he doesn’t love her like he loves you. He’s himself around you. Around her, he is always putting on a front. Do guys want the bad girl who you can always be open with, or the good girl you have to always lie to.  He wants to live a lie?

He still sends you those naughty iPhone pics.  And your timing is often wrong, but whenever you are coincidentally in town at the same time, which is rare, u spend the weekend together. You sit there quietly while he talks to the other woman on the phone.  You really want to giggle, or bust him with his girlfriend, but you don’t.  You ARE the other woman.

In your eyes he was perfect.  But as time went by, you realized those special places he took you to like Halekulani and your stomping grounds, Nobu, aren’t really special.  He takes her there too.   Are you a victim of a womanizer?

A week goes by and you are devastated and you miss him.  A year goes by and you are over it. Then the next time u fling with him, the vicious cycle begins all over again. You miss him again and are reminded that they are your one true love. That you wont stop loving them till the planets stop turning.  You could attempt what would appear to be a desperate attempt to win him back.  Or you can play it off and pretend it doesn’t matter, but suffer inside because you’d only be lying to yourself.  But you’re the other woman.  What would you do?

She thinks you’re a monster.  But you are just a victim of love.

xoxo

Kristie