One Week FREE Group Fitness in Waipio and Alamoana


One week FREE group fitness 45 minute classes Mon-Fri. Invite your friends for more free training and nutrition plans. And tag us on IG @iHeartFitnessIntl

Schedules will vary according to participation and suggestions of participants.
AM class Waipio
PM class Alamoana

Stay connected for fitness related special events, activities and charity fundraiser fitness competition events.

xoxo

Stay CONNECTED and More INFO @ https://www.facebook.com/events/595451123973141/

or more info @ iheartfitnesshi.com

 

Forgiveness


To some of you this picture is meaningless… to me it means 1000 words.

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I cleaned out my atrocious closet today and half of the hallway closet boxes from 15 years old.  I found this little bracelet my ex gave me.  The mala beads were meant to protect me from anxiety and frustration at a time when I was going through a hard time being really unhappy at work.  It’s a cheap little trinket bought out of impulse off of Instagram clicks, but I appreciate the meaning behind it.

The person who gifted me this bracelet has done the unthinkable to me.  He has done things to me that are unforgivable.  He hasn’t even cared to apologize or ask for forgiveness or send me an apology email. Where people don’t go, they will not receive.  He’s done things that have scarred me and will forever impact my trust in men and love and relationships.

Friday night I went to Rum Fire to meet a friend after dinner and drinks at Monkeypod in Koolina.   I had this great drink: scotch, lemon, honey and fresh ginger.  It was spicy and smokey, but slightly sweet to the palette without over doing the sweeteness, with a slightly scotchy bitter after bite.  I was outside drinking a glass of wine on the ocean side bullshitting about politics, Trump and all the rioters with a young military kid.  I told him we can go slap Trump stickers on the cars at the riots lol.  My girlfriend came out to let me know we need to leave, that a friend of ours got in a fight w her boyfriend.  We bounced to the next club to reunite our friend with her fighting boyfriend.   I listened to my friend try to smooth out their wrinkles for a couple hours over the phone.  Dealing with drunken fights is never fun. 😦  What a wonderful friend she is to be so patient as to help her friends out, when she is in an equally drunken state as well.  They too had to forgive each other.

As we drove past an ex’s house from a few years ago, we started to talk about that relationship.  He’s been checking on me low key and I know that he cares about me, but that relationship ended in a truly horrible way.  Things have never been ironed out, and I never really forgave him.  He never asked for forgiveness.  I think he knew that no words could take back how bad he had treated me.  It was easier to just run away. I understand that my bitterness was never resolved.  To me, having a break is hard and I sent him an email apology and two years later he think it’s best to not respond.  That keeps me blinded and full of un-forgiveness.

As we drove up the marina, she played a voicemail from an old friend apologizing.  They had a mutual friend die and had a big fight.  She said her friend advised her not to answer or respond.  I feel like people who do not answer calls or return apologies are rude and it’s not a reflection of you; it’s a reflection of them; that they are unable to deal with complexities of the dynamics of whatever situation that may be.  It’s like they think they are too good to acknowledge your apology.  Or they have the “one-up.”  An apology is a hard thing to conjur up.  Honestly, I’ve only been apologized to a handful of times in my life by people who have did me wrong and genuinely were seeking forgiveness.  Ignoring an apology is like not dealing with your emotions because it’s easier to ignore it, put it on the back burner, and not acknowledge the drama.  That person was seeking a peace of mind when they came to you to apologize, and if you are unable to speak to them to confront your demons, then you too have not obtained peace of mind from whatever angers you.

I wore that bracelet last night after I found it.  I wanted to throw it away at first.  But then I put it on my wrist and remembered the kind gesture behind the bracelet.  He may have hurt me, and I may quite possibly never speak to him again, but I’m not dwelling on the anger anymore.  I didn’t wear it because of some silly nostalgic notion that I was being reminiscent of the past.  I wore it because I found forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Choices and Lifestyles


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Where do I begin? At 4 am at Kelly Oneils at the bottom of my 5th Johnny Black double? At the end of the worst relationship of my life? Leaving Vegas penniless 140 lbs and overweight? When is enough, enough? When did I decide to take my life into my own hands, charge forward and do the things I always talked about but managed to put on the back burner?

My life is a book, a movie Hollywood hit played by the deranged Angelina Jolie (the girl interrupted.) ok maybe not that dramatic… Because I found my way up.

If you must know a little bit about me. I ran away from home and spent most of my upbringing in juvenile detention where most of my misguided anger was directed at my parents. I had a child at the young age of 19, and have raised her alone, without a penny of child support for 12 years. After she was born, I got into the stripping industry. I don’t hide it, although most boyfriends would prefer I do, because you can learn great things from where I have been. Lesson one, you make the money, you don’t let the money make you. The majority of strippers have drug problems, daddy issues, or are single parents. Can you tell which category I fall into? I am the single parent going through school.

Although I do have a few stripper friends, I keep them to the minimal. Usually they are single parents, and we at least have that in common. I don’t judge if we go out and they decide to go to the bathroom to “powder their nose” they just know that I won’t be joining them. The same goes for me. While I’m prepping $1000 worth of clean food and they’re downing wine with their Bucca De Beppos, I made a choice, a lifestyle choice, that I want to be healthier. (;

Not only has training taught me discipline. I’ve learned to apply the concepts of success to all areas of my life. Create a goal, and charge forward, whether it be with school, a business plan or a weight loss goal. Last fall I found myself exhausted with 8 years in the night scene. In only 30 days I built a full time clientele personal training with my iHeart Fitness HI business. I charged forward without looking back and saw when I put my mind to it anything is possible.

2013 year was my first competition

at the Sting Rey classic 2013, I placed second place in tall bikini division.  I took 1st the following year.  I look forward to competing in 2017 and finally hitting the National circuit. Competing has kept me motivated. It gives me a reason to push beyond my limits. Find your why and stick to it. This isn’t a season. It’s a lifestyle change. After 3 years of living like this, I don’t see myself living any other way.

#fitlife

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Xoxo

Art, Fashion, Globalism, Strippers, Politics: We are all Connected.


How would you put art, fashion, globalism, strippers and politics all into one sentence?  I just did.  You’d be surprised how many strippers know anything about these subjects.  I’m that pink deer, that rare diamond that could school you while you drink your $1800 bottle of wine and enjoy a $500 lap dance… you might get a topless straddle and a politics lecture instead. LOL!  Hey, I got great boobs.

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I’m an art major and I studied fashion design, merchandising/marketing AND media and journalism at the International Academy of Design and Technology for 2 years, and Academy of Arts University San Francisco for 4 years.  In one of my classes: Art History, We often discussed the interconnectivity of the influence of religion and politics on art beginning with ancient Egypt and transitioning through Greek, Roman Empire, Byzantine, Constantinople, Midevil and Renaissance times.  It’s interesting how many modern designs are influenced from ancient history.  History gives fashion depth.  It gives it intelligence and a voice.  Intelligent art is identified only by the intelligent and a small group identifies with the subtle brilliance in pieces where others may miss it.

Fashion is an ever changing world.  The 5 major fashion cities use to be New York, London, Paris, Milan and Tokyo.  Today China and India are emerging as fashion capitals and the United States has lost our industry, despite the famous New York Fashion Week.  Our textile industries and manufacturing have been outsourced by cheaper laborers like China.  However, the quality of technology in our products, faster turn around, honest service protecting us from stealing patents and keeping American money pumping into our economy are the upsides of keeping your fashion business in America.  At the end of the day we pay a premium for those luxuries that don’t always price position our end product in a competitive market.  The smart business men are outsourcing to China, however, they are often criticized by people who do not support global markets or products made in China.

Look at companies like Banana Republic. $100 average price for a garment or dress.  Banana Republic a part of GAP has had many controversial raids in India and other Asian countries getting busted for child labor and employee deaths.  A parallel in comparison  company to Banana Republic… Zara.  Average price for a garment is $50.  Zara is a Spanish co. and with self owned warehouses in Europe including countries like , Portugal, Turkey and Morocco, they keep costs down by having a zero advertisement policy and outsourcing some of their shirts to Asian countries like China, Indonesia and Vietnam.  Another company equal to Zara and Banana Republic would be Armani Xchange.  The average jacket or dress could be $100-$150 and is of similar quality.  They are manufactured in China, Hong Kong, Macau and Peru; however, some pieces are made in the US or in Italy, thus high prices on some garments  like blazers and cocktail dresses with finer detail and cheaper prices on simple garments like t shirts and tank tops.

American Apparel is an American company which demonstrates a low volume operation, however it has still been under the radar for unethical work environments, abusing illegal latino immigrants in California.  The more I searched online to find a popular American company that manufactures in the US, the more I realized there aren’t any names. I  was unable to find anything in the mainstream. There are a lot of small clothing brands that are high in quality and made in small production, however the companies are small, profit margins are low, and costs are high.  It is a fashionable thing to buy “Made in America” just like it is to buy “Made in France” or “Made in Italy.” What happens in the fashion world is a reflection of what is happening in the world with globalism, politics and all business.  It doesn’t matter if you’re making Victoria Secret panties in China or bottle caps for Coca Cola.  The business practices are the same across the board.  Cheap labor, tariffs and import/export taxes.

I learned a lot about business and parallel industries dancing in Vegas for a decade.  Every year I meet people in town for the bi-annual fashion “Magic” show.  I attend the AVN adult awards and Nascar and get to meet all the adult porn stars. That is always fun and brings out an eclectic variety of personalities.  I meet a lot of wealthy doctors and pharmaceutical reps during pharm conventions.  More intellectual classy types taking their ladies out for some debauchery.  The jewelers come every year to the jewelers convention.  Lots of middle eastern, Jewish and Lebanese friend’s I’ve made.  Middle Eastern guys are horny.  More than the rest.  I especially love the World of Concrete.  Bearded contractors are always generous, and extra cuddly, but kind.  They don’t talk to you like a piece of trash they just bought, like some customers. They can be kind and treat you like a human being.  (:  They’re generally the nicest guys.  Even the cunts that show up during electronics conventions esp. the tight wallet Chinese guys that shoo you away like a pigeon and the cheap asses after a UFC fight all drunk trying to get free attention without spending a dollar on a single girl; all these surroundings offer me perspective into different markets.  Sometimes a big fight like Holly Holm and Rousey enticed me to come to work and I’d kill $1500 between 5 pm and 10 pm because the turn up was so good and there were no girls smart enough to show up to work.

What interest does a stripper have in politics?  Plenty.  If you’re a ghetto girl, then you gotta hustle hard to get volume in customers.  If you’re resourceful, intelligent and beautiful, you work smart, not hard.   You are able to pull those high end clients that go for a VIP or throw you a couple grand to miss work over the weekend and hang out, go gambling and shopping and be entertained w dinner and lounging for the weekend.  Chances are those upper bracket clients are Republicans.  Throughout Obama’s administration I saw my entire income deplete by over 50% within those 8 years.  I look forward to see my income rise during Tump’s administration.  I saw many of those clients lose their lifestyle and income.  Clients who once spent regularly were more frugal with their money.  Many people changed jobs and industries and opened new businesses catering to new markets.  An entrepreneur will always be an entrepreneur and in changing markets will always evolve.   To be honest… the strip industry is DEAD, even in Vegas, the hosts are scrambling to pimp girls  for their 40% “tips” and stamp out the competition because they are desperate for survival.  It’s no longer a prosperous industry unless you’re a high end prostitute that can pull $10,000 clients regularly.

I’ve noticed the older strippers leave the club to become high end prostitutes and many women of international origin, who are less desirable in appearance become prostitutes in the strip club. My old roommate and I sat at the stage at 5 am trolling strippers.  Within an hour he got 5 girls numbers. 4 out of 5 girls propositioned him for sex ranging from $200 to $400.  To his credit, my roommate was an extremely good looking guy, nonetheless… they offers were extremely low, devaluing the marketing of the strip club.   They said they were desperate and rent was due.  Working at Spearmint Rhino, it is $400-$500 for a VIP hour dance.  Prostitutes usually on the high end cost $1000-$3000.   Is the market so bad now that strippers are willing to go home with you for $200?

How does globalism affect this all? America is being outsourced in prostitution, manufacturing, even skilled laborers.  Over 45% of highly educated doctors are from international waters.  Prostitution in countries like South America and Asia are so cheap that nobody wants to pay $3000 for a hooker in Vegas.  Manufacturing is clearly cheaper in countries with unethical environment and labor practices than America.  We have no choice but to assimilate with the ways of global markets.  But how does America stay competitive?  I’ve been asking myself this for a long time.  The world does not care about ethics.  American companies thrive with quality, but it is only American’s who mostly buy American products.  The world does not like imported American products.  Why would Asia and Europe import electronics or cars when they have better ones?  Why would they import Budweiser when they have Kirin and Scotch?  They often don’t and we lose on all planes of trade.  America needs better brands that can stay competitive, but we can’t without globalizing our markets.  So we’re at a stalemate.

What is America’s industries?  War. Acquisition.  Investments.  Do you see how we profit from keeping the world at war and monopolizing commodities?  IDK Food for thought.  I have a lot going on in my mind.

I am an entrepreneur… I’ve never had a job in my life.  My savings has depleted and even now I refuse to get a job.  I’m hustling my side gigs and getting clients right now.  I think my entrepreneur mindset gives me an outlook into the business world.  Being a fashion major, I’ve studied the complexities of globalism and understand how politics, religion and history play a role in business.  I see how we are all interconnected, how art is influenced, how markets influence each other and it gives me a deeper understanding of the world we live in today.

xoxo

 

 

Politics 101: The ABC’s


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If you think you’re a Democrat and supported Hillary because you are pro marijuana, pro choice or pro LGBT rights, then you are just on the surface of understanding the deeper complexities of politics.  I’m not here to assuade you into converting and supporting my political beliefs.  But I want everyone out there to be free thinkers and decide for themselves.

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The debate.

We all have our views, and if we were to become politicians we would all be considered lobbyists. Because everyone is lobbying for some right for financial benefactor.  So all of this nonsense to “drain the swamp” is impossible, because nobody genuinely gets involved in the ugly, sticky web of politics because they love America and want to save the country.  Everyone has an agenda and if you think they’re just all patriotic nationals who want to save us, OPEN YOUR EYES.

One thing I can’t stand is not staying objective.  I love politics and you have to respect others opinions to fully enjoy it.  You have to have an understanding that no side is right nor wrong, but you have to be accepting of others views even though they differ from your own. The reason I like debating politics is because you become more informed.  Even if you don’t agree, you understand what the opposing sides are saying about each  other and sometimes even enlightened to more information on subjects in the media that you may have not covered.  If you’re going to debate politics you can’t take it personal.  But when people disagree, they start to take it personal.

Calling someone racist when debating a racial subject is elementary and amateur.  Politicians avoid race baiting subjects because they don’t want the labels.  I commend Trump for boldly addressing these issues, although they backlashed with him being labeled as a racist.  Or when someone attacks your personal credentials and puts themselves on a pedestal by displaying their education, rewards, merits etc.  Hypothetically if I didn’t graduate high school and caught the bus to IHOP to wait tables every day, but was just really well read, doesn’t make my views less credible than someone with an education who brags about their overachievements.  I’ve had some of the most idiot conversations with some of the most supposedly educated people.

So I was a stripper for 12 years.  I get this rebuttle so much. What does that have to do with anything?  My opinions are invalid because your narrow minded judgements of who I am invalidates my intelligence.  Then why are you debating with me if I’m such a low life in the first place?  A conservative would judge your as a gay left wing abomination.  And you look at me like I’m an uneducated moral-less stripper. And I look at prostitutes and drug addicts like they’re trash.  And they look at rapists and serial killers as bottom of the barrel.  But the rapists and serial killers rape the terrorists and treasonists in prison.  Anyways… everyone wants to put everyone on a pedestal.  But I’ve learned to accept differences and pick your opponents.  Arguing with a close minded, ignorant and uneducated person with different lifestyles serves me no purpose.

The Issues.

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Be sure you are informed on the issues.  It’s easy to get caught up in pop culture and media that we don’t even know what the issues are.  What is important to you?  I am extremely pro life.  I’m anti-illegal immigration, and I’m a big believer that we need to revisit our trade policies and military spending.  Our economy is suffering and this is due to taxation and globalism.  We need to incentivize our American companies to grow our economy.  We’re losing too many industries to globalism.  Isis is a huge problem and we need a new plan. I’m republican on taxes and republican on many of these major issues.

HOWEVER… when I was younger I considered myself a Democrat.   This was because I have liberal social views ie. welfare, take care of the people, the planet, gay rights, pro choice and pro marijuana.  So, today I have molded to a centrist or rockafeller/progressive Republican.  I am very liberal and modern on social issues because I’m not a religiously driven political person on my moral high ground, like most conservatives.

Take the time to read the issues on each politicians views on the issues.  You’d be surprised how much you really agree with someone who you may have first judged.  I was in support of Rand Paul.  Knowing he didn’t have a chance, I started to look at Cruz and Trump.  I started to see I had less in common with a more conservative Cruz, and more in common with liberals like Clinton and Bernie Sanders.  However, Trumps message and stances were clear to me and his middle of the road stances were more appealing than a conservative.

The Left and the Right.

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There are different degrees of being on the right, the left and in the center.  I don’t like to label myself in one specific party.  Most people want to stereotype each party to the most extreme, but the truth is that there are good points on both sides.  We just need to be informed, and make a decision and be a free thinker for what best resonates in our hearts and minds.

I have said this (with much back lash) that I think social issues like gay rights, marijuana and abortion should be done away with in politics.  This often gets misconstrued as I am pro life, pro marijuana and pro gay rights.  HOWEVER… Putting these non-moral (as judged by the conservatives)  issues into the mix creates the left liberals.  Imagine taking away those issues from politics, and the liberal party would be destroyed.  I say this not because I don’t think these issues are important, I say it because it’s creating noise.  I am pro life, however I think the government shouldn’t have a say in any of these issues, and they are only big influences in elections.  The left would be eliminated if those issues were no longer involved. And the conservative party would melt into the rest of the republicans. This election the “alt right” has evolved into more extreme conservatism.  We would start to pay attention to the issues that matter.  I’m not gay, but I advocate for them to have their rights.  I for one am personally tired of the government telling us what to do with our lives and our bodies and these silly social issues.  It’s like we can’t govern our selves so we need the government to tell us how to live.

The Media.

I watch BOTH left and right media.  It’s good to understand both perspectives, but we have to understand that what that right and left bias means, what the agendas are to propagate what messages, and we cannot allow repetitive messages to influence our thinking.  We have to learn to be free thinkers, use our knowledge on the facts, what we have learned from politics and make our own decisions.  At the end of the election so many people were caught up with silly media stories attacking each politician, they couldn’t even tell you what the issues are.

Be careful for media outlets that report constant negativity about certain parties.  Be careful for media outlets that report one certain kind of issue constantly ie. left media likes black on police crime, right media likes to post on anti-muslim and propagates lots of violent and ill-informed stories about muslim violence.  Look at a story and think, who is benefiting from this.  Everything is a racket and most likely someone is propagating the story.  If you see an article about pro choice, and they have an ad for planned parenthood, you can bet your ass off they funded it.  Or recently, the riots have been attributed to being orchestrated by globalists who manipulate the currency to crash markets and capitalize.  Everything has an agenda, and often, we don’t even know what they are.

Be Informed.

Some of us have no idea what is even going on in the world.  Facebook is NOT a source of media.  Although it gets you in the right direction of knowing what is actually going on in the world, most of it is bias and often false.  When I see a subject I am interested in, I go to google and find credible news sources.  Often it’s hard to find credible news sources.  So I just read both left and right and come to my own conclusion based of my own knowledge and common sense and evaluating the sources.  Some people don’t have the best knowledge or common sense unfortunately. But we owe it to ourself to just educate ourselves and be informed.  The more you read on a subject, the more you get informed.  Watch documentaries.  I love documentaries, they are a plethora of information.  Read, read and READ some more.  When you find information that conflicts, dig deeper.  You will mostly always find your answer.

The Complexities.

You can be informed and well read, but at the end of the day, we are all in the dark.  Understanding the complexities of politics and not only the surface of the issues are important.  Like how Trump supported conservative social views during the election to maintain the conservative vote, and won, then shortly announced his liberal social views on not changing laws on abortion, but giving the power to the state, being pro marijuana and stating that he won’t change the gay communities rights.  These are things that I think many people were aware of and his pro conservative views didn’t stray away his supporters.

Then there are the underlying reasons why we have policies that we don’t understand.  Things that are confidential.  Things that the American people cannot understand.  We have to understand there are many secrets we don’t understand.  In my opinion, why would we keep a horrible trade deal w China?  I think they are holding us hostage, we are in debt to them, we continue to go into debt with them, and they control our currency.  Hypothetically lets say Obama wanted to close our trade gap, and they threatened to crash our currency if we don’t give into their demands.  Obama took the diplomatic approach to protect us on the surface, but we are in trouble in the long run.  This is very conspiratorial talk, but hypothetically there are lots of shadows in the dark that we the people do not see.  Let’s say hypothetically Trump took funding out of Israel.  Now the Jew’s who control our banks do something to manipulate our currency.  We’re balancing and protecting ourselves from manipulation. It’s like a game of thrones, a balance of manipulation and power and we don’t fully understand what is truly going on, but we need to factor that into our decisions.  We get mad at this unbalance, and we bring in our troops because that is our strong hand.  This is why we have cabinet members and advisors, not to lead for us or impose their views.  To educate the leader in areas he is not versed in, so that he can make good decisions in the best interest of the people.

Let’s propose I am pro life (right).  However I am pro gay rights (left).  Donald Trump is filling his cabinet with ultra conservatives who are for taking away abortion rights and gay rights.  Realistically, I understand that these are not as big political agendas as they are for the people.  I should use my judgement to decide that Trump is not after taking these rights away.  He has left it open to states to make decisions on abortion.  It is a middle ground where he feels pro life about the subject, but understands the need for much of the population to yield that right, so he is checking the balance by giving the power to the state and giving the people some power to get abortions in certain states.   He needs to do what he feels is right.  And no side is right.  But this is fair as the pro life’s get some lives saved and some structure, where as the pro choicers have some states to practice their rights.  As for gay rights, I’m under the assumption that Trump only supported anti gay for the conservative vote and now that election time is over, he is all about supporting the gay community.

VOTE.

Most people think their vote doesn’t matter.  But look what happened.  I never believed in 1000 years that Trump would win!  But here he is, our next Commander in Chief.  The people have spoken and they want Trump for their next president.  If so many people opposed them, maybe they should have voted.

TO SUM IT UP

  • Learn to debate openly, respectfully and objectively.
  • Understand the left and the right sides and what their objectives are.  Don’t be manipulated into choosing a side. Often people are neither left nor right.
  • Research the issues. Don’t be a retard and allow Facebook memes and media clips to form your ideas and views.
  • Understand the power of the media.  Watch both Liberal and Conservative media and make your own decisions.  Understand  difference between agendas and propaganda from un bias media.
  • Be informed.  Read.  Watch documentaries.  Have debates.  Be active.  Learn about what is really happening in the world.  Don’t give in to laziness and trusting the media.  Do your own research.  Question yourself.  Question others.  Question the media.
  • There are complexities in politics to be understood which involve psychology, confidentiality, security etc.  Our interpretation depends on our own intelligence, our problem solving skills, or ability to make judgements.
  • VOTE.  Your voice counts.

xoxo

 

Haunt Me


Haunt Me
Haunt me
In my dreams
If you please
Your breath is with me now and always
It’s like a breeze
So should you ever doubt me
If it’s help that you need
Never dare to doubt me
And if you want to sleep
I’ll be quiet
Like an angel
As quiet as your soul could be
If you only knew
You had a friend like me
So should you ever doubt me
If it’s help that you need
Never dare to doubt me

xoxo

Never Be Like You


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What I would do to take away
This fear of being loved, allegiance to the pain
Now I fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you
I would give anything to change
This fickle minded heart that loves fake shiny things
Now I fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you

I’m only human can’t you see
I ma-I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything’s okay
‘Cause I got it
Oo ooh
Never be like you
[x2]

Why do I make you want to stay
Hate sleeping on my own, missing the way you taste
Now I’m fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you

Stop looking at me with those eyes
Like I could disappear and you wouldn’t care why
Now I’m fucked up and I’m missing you
Never be like you

I’m only human can’t you see
I ma-I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything’s okay
‘Cause I got it
Oo ooh
Never be like you
[x2]

I’m falling on my knees
Forgive me, I’m a fucking fool
I’m begging darling please
absolve me of my sins, won’t you

Ohoo

I’m falling on my knees
Forgive me, I’m a fucking fool
I’m begging darling please
Absolve me of my sins, won’t you

I’m only human can’t you see
I ma-I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything’s okay
‘Cause I got it
Oo ooh
Never be like you
[x2]

Redecorating in Teal


I want to move into my own house in the Spring, and making my home comfortable is very important to me.

I have this bedding already and want to design around it. I don’t have the floral print, instead I have fur, gold, suede and wooden decorative pillows.

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Matson stole my comforter that was in my car when I shipped it, so maybe I need to opt for new bedding or find a similar comforter.

Michael Amini Madrid Cal King Comforter Set, Teal Gold Ruby Red $499
on Amazon.com

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Howard Elliott Nancy Oversized Mirror $399
on Amazon.com

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Dresser
Unknown

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Kevin Gordon Vase

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Found on Pinterest

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Art Deco Moser Vase

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Josh Simpson Art-Glass Vessel

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Lamp $275 on Polyvore

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Bare Decor Hourglass Artisan Accent Solid Teak Wood Tree Stump End Table $200

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Monet and Klimt Canvas (each under $100)
on Amazon.com

Cameron Brooks Photography on Metal

72″ Reclaimed Pine Dining Table (in Chestnut Finish)
$999 at West Elm

Curtains: Anthropologie, Interiors Addict and  Next.co.UK

Opus Deco Rug
$245
amazon.com

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Hemingway Blue Tufted Velvet Accent Chair
$449 on Amazon.com

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Monroe Ivory and Teal Fabric Dining Chairs
$154 on Amazon.com

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Jennifer Taylor Home Sofa
$1,330 on Amazon.com

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Peacock Blue Suede Couch
Source Unknown

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DIY Palette Coffee Table

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DIY Palette Porch Swing

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the Kiss by Dino Rosin

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Teal Rose Bushes

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This painting doesn’t have the cool color scheme but i feel it’s darkness and warmness would look great in my bedroom if I decided to go with warmer tones. Or in my bathroom.  My bathroom has a lot of warm red tones.  WIth the bedding set however, I can introduce some red and orange tones into accents.

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Balinese Daubed

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Election Day


It’s November 08, 2016; Election Day; Seraphim Ossa Manning was born at 05:30 am just 21 weeks along, 12.2 ounces, after a long fight to make it to a safer time to be born.  Her heart beat for 3.5 hours before passing away.

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I spent election day grieving for my lost child.  A friend came by and kept me company in the afternoon while we watched elections on CBS, CNN, ABC and FOX.  CBS was releasing false statistics stating that Clinton was winning the election.  It wasn’t hard to  see this was false by flipping back and forth between other stations and my friend playing the election on their phone.  Even at 4 in the afternoon, they still believed Clinton would pull up in the 4th quarter, still making excuses for her.

After an entire night of not sleeping, labor, some morphine injections, and plunging into a deep depression of tears; I was exhausted.  I went to sleep.

This election has been quite the election.  One day my Facebook feed became nothing but politics.  It was impossible to avoid politics altogether.  I don’t recall seeing a lot of politics before that time.  I’m the type of person who likes to watch both liberal and conservative media, so I have a balanced idea on what is going on and can make a decision for myself, usually somewhere in the middle.  I can see how easily I can be turned off to watching extreme conservative media and how it propagates negativity, but I can say the same for liberal media as well.  While both sides are responsible for propagating hate, divide and anger, I think we need to take it in that it is not Hillary nor Trump propagating hate: It is the media that must take responsibility.

I woke up at midnight that night to see Donald Trump had won!  I didn’t think he had a chance because the media had convinced me that he didn’t.  Being in the hospital on election day made me sad that I was unable to vote.  However, according to the electorates, apparently Trump had been declared the winner before Hawaii, being 3 hours behind California even counted their votes.  Hawaii obviously being a democrat state had Clinton already pegged as the winner. Basically my vote wouldn’t have mattered in this specific case.

I’m severely perplexed at how much anger has come from this election.  How the people have not given Donald Trump a chance to do good.  How people are so swayed and convinced by media bias that he is going to turn America into 1950’s Nazi Germany and blow up the world based on character defamation by the media.  There’s a lot about Donald Trump the media doesn’t show, a good side we are all yet to see.  I knew his views on gay and lesbian rights was more liberal than his campaign opted for to win the conservative vote.  How building a wall was a huge priority, but I bet not so much anymore.  It’s the idea behind tightening our borders and negatively spending tax dollars on immigrants instead of taking care of own at home first.  I even read that he’s not interested in appealing Obama Care but improving on it.  I don’t like Obama Care, but I can see how throwing away billions of dollars of tax payers money can be negative, perhaps Trump will find a positive way to improve the program, also allowing open borders between states to drive  down the price of insurance.  Perhaps after speaking w Obama he explained the implications in losing progress and Trump saw logic in something that maybe he didn’t fully understand.  This is why we have cabinet members to consult us in areas we are unknowledgeable in. We have a good “hand of the king” and “Master of Coin” and “Master of War” consulting the “Iron Throne.”  LOL.  Sorry for my fanatic Game of Thrones analogy.  😀

What’s crazy is these riots.  I saw tons of videos of windows being broken, people being beat, flags being burned; I even saw a video of a woman shit on a sign  and smear it into a Trump sign with her hands.  WTF is wrong with people?  What upset me most was a post by Michelle Obama of a woman kicking her traumatized son out of the house with a ridiculous sign saying “My mom kicked me out for voting for Trump” at a mock election process at school.  His answer for voting for Trump was as simple and innocent as “because I see him on TV a lot.”

The problem isn’t Trump.  The problem is the people blaming the president for their problems?  The problem is unresolved issues.  I’m a big believer that many of these issues can tie back to foreign policy.  The gay muslim shootings in Miami was based out of frustration for what is happening in his home in the middle east.  The angry Black Lives Matters group for feeling generations of oppression has caused negative feelings amongst black communities but offering no real solution which stemmed from foreign policy and slavery in early American history.  Then we have more foreign policy issues with trade and military effecting our current economy.  Being blackmailed with China, our trade deficit, and the manipulation of our currency.  They own us.  What is Trump going to do for our foreign policy?

Donald Trump, as his first order as president, I would get control of the riots before civil rebellion gets out of control.  I would implement any crimes committed during riots or protests be punishable by prison sentencing.. and also I would rescind the rights of illegal immigrants.  Only American citizens have those rights, and granting them passage permits loopholes to be abused.  When an American Citizen travels to Amsterdam for example, if he/she smokes marijuana which is legal in this country and returns to the US, he/she can be liable for her illegal activities as a US citizen even if it is legal in Amsterdam.  But Amsterdam will allow them to conduct manner which is considered legal in their country.  We cannot stop violence and riots which are un-excusable, but we can enhance punishment and put rioters behind bars so the rest of society doesn’t have to deal with this inhumanity.

I’m saddened that there is so much hate for Trump.  That Michelle and Barrack Obama have put so much hatred into this man.  They, as leaders, have implemented hate in the people.  And Obama has created more divide in the last 8 years of presidency than I’ve seen in my 31 years alive.

Politics is an ugly place, and Donald Trump gave up his salary to charity and a billionaire lifestyle  to step up and save America in a time where no one wants to lead, where no one wants to take charge and take blame for the failure or achievements of the future of our country.  I hope that we do not see another JFK (another president who gave up his earnings) assassination or negative repercussions on his presidency.  I believe Trump has the power to do great things, and with great power, great evil can also endure.

I have faith that Trump is a nationalist who loves his country and wants to Make America Great Again.  And this is why the media painted this picture even the most loyal of Trump supporters believed, that he wouldn’t win.  At the end of the day, Trump won the hearts of the people by propagating a message, that we have to stop the corruption in politics, that we have to stop the establishment from funding wars for financial gain, that we must tighten our spending and stop abusing federal spending, stop the lobbyists from running our country, we have to put a stop to policing the world and being a charity to the world when we can’t even take care of our own first.  Countries like Canada and Sweden can afford free education and free health care because they aren’t paying the cost of policing Israel and Africa and annexing the middle east, they don’t pay high costs of wars and keeping peace and the costs of managing a great nation and it’s security and technology advancements.  Canada is our sister, and they are strong because we are strong.  And these nations together standing strong is what keeps us growing.  It’ll be interesting to see how Russia will align with our interest.  There’s a lot of cleaning house to do in America, and I think Donald Trump is the man to do it.  Let’s give a man a chance to do his job. Make America great again!

Donald Trump 2016!

xoxo

What’s up With These Anti-Trump Riots?


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If you didn’t vote for Trump then you probably won’t like me.  I support our new president 100% and so does the majority of America because despite the early claim to Hillary winning the popular vote, Trump won that and the electorates.  I am proud for our new president and I’m disgusted in the riots and violence that has become of this election.

What is more disturbing is George Soro’s and other elite groups are behind funding these riots and paying protesters to organize them.  George Soro’s is a man who profits from crashing economies and currencies.  Chaos is the perfect breeding ground for his fortunes.  Half of these people don’t even know what they’re protesting.  I bet you the majority of them didn’t even vote.  The riots aren’t what scare me.  It’s the chaos and division of our country that can lead to civil war, violence, crashing of economy and currency and rise in crime.  When people are breaking your car and house windows and stealing  your shit, please unfriend me if you rioted and supported Hillary.

This election was nasty.  Trump said things to attack Hillary that didn’t mean anything, and Hillary used the media to portray Trump in a not-so-flattering light.  Yes, they picked on his character flaws.  He’s an impatient, egomaniac and has a poor temperament. And he grabs women by the pussy.  I think this just humanized him.  I think the people are sick of “holier-than-thou” crooked politicians who are smart and cover their tracks.  I think Trump is too honest and straight forward and says what he means to be labeled a politician and that is refreshing in the eyes of the people who are seeking genuine change.  People say we survived Bush.  I use to make $200k a year when Bush was in.  Since Obama was in I make half of that.  My income crashed in 2008.

In my eyes, I have never lived in fear, or lived in an America where the racial divide is worse than it is today.  To me… we survived Obama.  And Obama is not YET out of office and in the time between now and inauguration, who know’s if we’ll make it before Obama delays Trump’s presidency and declares Marshall Law.  The legal issues just conveniently showed up around election time and I think the people don’t put stock into that because they see through the ugly obstacles of politics and winning an election.  The people spoke, and Trump won.

If you want to riot and be treasonous, then please go for it.  I say imprison rioters and they can build and maintain the wall.  But rioters are seeking a resolution.  Rioting does not fix anything in this circumstance.  If you think Trump is going to get impeached because you’re rioting, you are WRONG.  He won this election which means there are more people who want him in office than those protesting.  Or at least they were the ones to show up on election day.  By rioting you are continuing to divide this country and give the wolves ground to capitalize on the fall of America.  If there is a civil war, I don’t think majority of you would be able to back it up or bare arms.  I’m telling you, I’d be ready if you want to infringe on our rights and make this place an ugly place.  I’m with Trump.

Hillary leaving without giving a speech.  Obama doing nothing for these riots.  I think Trump needs to give a presidential speech.  And Obama and Hillary need to step up and be leaders and speak to these rioters.  They need to know that everything is going to be ok, and they need to respect the president.  It’s sad that our leaders are nowhere to be found.  And Obama is secretly planning an Iraq deployment that military soldiers are forbidden to discuss until after the election.

Please, let’s give him a chance to do his job.  He has discussed lowering  taxes for everyone across the board.  Marijuana is a go.  Gay rights he intends to let them keep.  Abortion he prefers to stay out of and allow the state to make those laws, and we can live with that.  Melania has talked about cyber bullying which I think is a huge deal.  Ivanka has proposed paid maternity leave.  And Trump hasn’t proposed an immediate 10 million refugees being deported.  He has started with beginning with the 2-3 million with criminal records and those in prison.  He is taking things slowly and methodically and so far all the talks of what he’s done is good.  Let’s focus on the good and give him a chance.  When you disagree with a policy change or something he is doing, then please protest.  But stop protesting his character defamation the media has painted him in a poor light.  GIVE HIM A CHANCE.  Let’s be civil and let him save our country.  I sincerely feel he has a diplomatic approach and his family has a desire to “Make America Great Again.”  Saving our nation is more important than hotel vacancies as Donald and Invanka stated in their 60 Minutes interviewer.  This is bigger than anything and I commend the Trump family for taking on this difficult position in a difficult time.   #teamtrump #maga

xoxo