Lost


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Deopak chakra is the root chakra.  The first chakra of the main 7 chakras.  It is ruled by the element of earth, of rooting and grounding.  If you know me, you know I am a wild child, a social butterfly, a gypsy, a winged unicorn that doesn’t want to give up her wings.  I like to listen to root chakra music on youtube while I sleep.  I feel more grounded in the morning.  I focus slowly on breathing and visualize my feet growing into a tree and rooting into the ground until I fall asleep I feel completely supported and grounded.  I feel content in my mind until I fade out.  The first chakra is associated with the following functions or behavioral characteristics:

  • Security, safety
  • Survival
  • Basic needs (food, sleep, shelter, self-preservation, etc.)
  • Physicality, physical identity and aspects of self
  • Grounding
  • Support and foundation for living our lives

I’m on vacation in California trying to clear my mind.  Find my path if you will.  I’m not sure what direction I am going in.  If I stay in Hawaii and do real estate, or move out to Utah in the country, or try to move to a big city.  I don’t know what I want to do but I’m definitely at a fork in the road.  My baby died on election day.  My puppy got run over on Mother’s Day.   I have been ill and dealing with health issues.  And I haven’t found stable work or been able to focus on real estate full time because being a single mother and maintaining income at the same time as trying to launch a career is challenging and often leaves holes in your mommy game.  I’m really in a strange place and I want to find my roots so I can grow into a strong Koa tree that not even a level 5 hurricane could shake.

The day before I left, I got an email invite to join the Miss Jet Set contest.  So I said… what the hell… I posted some of my favorite old modeling pictures and we’ll see where it goes.  I’ll post a couple social media blasts. *Sorry if I spammed you but thank you so much for the continued support! But I didn’t expect to be in first place after the 4th elimination.

I’m currently working on my Freebikinibody.com fitness content website to help women achieve their fitness goals at no price.  I don’t have working capital so I am working on it grass roots by myself and will hopefully later obtain some funding or grants.  As a business owner, I believe it is important to identify your target market and also incorporate social responsibility into your image.  But I wanted this to be genuine.  As someone who grew up in Hawaii, I am very respectful of the aina (land) and the sea.  After watching the Discovery Channel “Plastic Ocean” my heart was heavy.  I became more concerned for the future of our planet, our beautiful marine life and the food we put in our bodies.  You all know I can be politically outspoken and come off as brash and have hard views, but taking care of our world is not something of “the left” or “the right.” Nor is it a Chinese issue or American issue or Mexican issue. We should all care collectively as a whole.  As a personal trainer since 2008, I’m losing the passion for fitness as corporate and mainstream takes over.  I’d rather share what I know with the world and positively impact others lives through a free fitness content website.  I decided to donate 10%  of all profits of my freebikinibody.com website to causes related to cleaning up the ocean.  My heart was warmed when I discovered the 16 year old who invented a device to clean the ocean and they are now raising funds to do so.

As I promote the Miss Jet Contest, I apologize, I do get a little spammy.  I have to be consistent and I thank everyone for the awesome support!  Couldn’t do it without all of you!  I follow and interact in a lot of groups which I have interests in, in certain cities like Honolulu and Vegas, in fitness communities, real estate, wine and spirituality and a few cancer and fundraiser charity groups.    We all have our list of groups we like to follow and interact in.  Yesterday I posted my Miss Jet Set link in a spirituality group I interact with.  Facebook sometimes blocks your posts when you over post, so I guess my comment didn’t go through and they just saw a link.  I woke up to a viral debate on my post this morning.

Many were attacking me while others defended me.  I wasn’t upset or hurt or feeling anything.  I think I’ve learned to have empathy for others who judge people because they have not yet learned the lesson of true grief, loss and empathy.  But it turned into an interesting event.  Perhaps I had influenced a lot of people in an indirect way.  Someone even posted a long video apologizing and dissecting their own feelings and behaviors. Our feelings are a reflection of our own subconscious.

“I am not here for your understanding of who I am. I am here for your understanding of who you are. I am your mirror. How you feel about me, what you see in me, the thoughts that arise from your encounter of me, the judgments you hold about me, are all reflections of you. They have nothing to do with me.” Maroutian

It made me realize I am a genuine person.  That even in my madness and what sometimes seems to be a chaotic life, that it gives me purpose to positively make someones life a little better or inspire someone positively.  That we all have our strengths and weaknesses.  That perhaps the world has been unkind to me so that I may appreciate the beauty in good.  There is no light without dark.  There is no heaven without hell.  There is no good without evil.  That we are all human and on our own paths.  Some of us are at different places.  But we all have something to offer each other regardless of sex, race, country of origin or social status.  I have learned from the lowest of street level pimps and drug dealers, to the top echalon of the elite 1% in the world.  And I too have taught them something in an indirect way.  We are all here to impact each others lives and teach and grow.  I have been on a real bad down swing for a while.  And this experience has changed my perspective on some things and my current mindset, for the better.

I don’t know where my path is taking me, and it scares the hell out of me.  But I do know that the path gets clearer everyday as I acknowledge my fears and mistakes and learn and grow from them.

Last month I tatted my banner on my back: “Not all those who wander are lost.”

I’m late for my 1:00 but I had to get this off my chest.

Here’s the link to the Miss Jet Set 2017 contest.  I am currently first in my divison.  Please continue to vote daily, signup for the mailing list, and if you feel generous then please donate to the be positive cancer foundation for more votes.

https://www.jetsetmag.com/model-search/2017/kristie-manning

Aloha

Kristie Manning

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