Something or someone inspired me to just reset. Not my entire life, but one aspect of it. I realized I have over 1000 contacts in my phone book, and how many of those people actually respond to my message: lets grab some lunch or hit up Bikram? How many of them spread gossip about me, then kiss me on the cheek when I saw them out? How many of those people have a shady side, but you tend to overlook it, because you want to see the good in everybody; only to get fucked over later, or put in a negative situation. You shake your head wondering how your best friend could have done it to you? Well, all the signs were there, they’re trippin’ on days ends of drinking, and have negative karma from whatever else they were doing (but not to you of course) and you were just a victim of your own optimism. Those people have dark energy, and they attract dark energy. I’m not to say they are bad people. Because we all have demons. But to be at a place in your life when you find yourself at a cross section, where you can continue down that road or find a better path. That is what separates the good from the bad. Our choices.
“It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Dumbledore
How many people are really our friends? How many people are trying to hit it and quit it? How many people are just sharks trying to get some business contacts? How many of your best friends have other underlying motives for keeping you close? How many friends will step outside of their comfort zone to tell you something that is hard, even if it will compromise your friendship? Real friends talk real talk. How many people are our friends because they want something from us? It’s hard to separate the good from bad sometimes. I know what I want out of my friends. Loyalty, and honesty, and someone who will tell me I’m wrong when I need to be told. I’m not a needy friend.
As I erased numbers, it was difficult. I had to write down a list of potential clients and business contacts that I knew I might need in the future. But they don’t belong in my phone book? There were a few strong business contacts, drs, lawyers, professionals and a handful of close friends who earned their place in there. At first it was difficult because I wanted to hold on to some numbers. But when I buckled down and realized, I need to erase everybody, it became clear and simple. I even erased my family. They’ll call me eventually, but I wonder how long that will take? The people who matter, and want to be in my life will call me eventually. And the rest who were just there taking up space, will drift away.
“Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. live in the FAITH that the whole world is on your side so long as you are TRUE to the best that is in you!! LIVE YOUR LIFE BY THIS!” Noah Riopelle (FitHI Training)
I realize, we are not all perfect, and we are all at different stepping stones in our lives. Sometimes the people we want in our life most are at a different place, and it takes time and effort to reconcile with the past, and finish the last pieces of rotten fruit that still spoil the present. I’m a diamond, but it takes some polishing the facets on a brilliant cut to shine. I may not be rainbows and butterflies, or have the perfect life I envision, but I do know, it only get’s better every day. #spoiledspaghetti
“You can take a 100 dollar bill, step on it, drag it in dirt, crumple it, spit on it and leave it for dead in the middle of a dessert. If someone else finds it, it’s still worth 100 dollars. You’re worth more than you think despite what you went through. I might be in the dessert but I promise, I’ll find you and show you your worth. #realtalk.” Kid Kaena.
Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.
I guess I’m just saying… if you wanna be a friend, you found yourself a good friend. But if you are just passing through, then there’s the door. (: