“THE GOAL IS TO KEEP US FROM FALLING.”
You bombarded their phone with text messages because they didn’t return your call. You’ve been hanging out together every day? You got in a fight, and cried a lot. You argued about what was wrong with the relationship. There could be a million reasons why. The closer we get in our relationships, the higher the expectations become, and sometimes I think the pressure or fear of commitment can scare them away. You are not alone. There are millions of people out there with this same dilemma. What the fuck does “I need space” mean anyways?
Why do we need space?
1. You have been spending too much time together and they are annoyed by you.
2. They are seeing someone else, or want to have their cake and eat it too.
3. They are over it, but don’t know how to be a real person and break up with you.
4. Perhaps give them their space, and they will realize they love you and come back to you, or realize they don’t, and end it. Perhaps they just need space to sort things out in their head, and no matter how hard it is, it is important to give it to them.
5. Maybe they are taking a step back because they are afraid of commitment.
6. Perhaps an argument or fight you had made them change their perspective of you and they need to regroup their feelings.
I think it’s important to tell that person why you need space. Don’t just go AWOL and ignore their calls. Any woman is going to care that her boyfriend went missing, then you are going to get annoyed with her when she is emotional and finally arguing with you. If you care about how they feel, and want a heathy relationship to continue, without drama and fighting, you need to express things clearly. If not, they are going to be confused, and in a great deal of pain. Sick, in bed, not wanting to go out, feeling like the world is coming to and end. They are hurt and vulnerable. And we love them, so we owe it to them an explanation so they can understand what they did wrong, (or perhaps what is wrong with you) and not just leave them hanging in the dark. It’s hard when things end. You relive the last few weeks of your interactions over and over in your head and try to figure out what you did wrong. Sometime’s you did nothing at all and it is just them. But I truly believe this, that 2 people loved each other once, all it takes is a step back, and after the emotions calm down, talk again.
IT’S NOT FAIR TO BE DISHONEST WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE, SO IT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO BE OPEN WITH YOUR FEELINGS, AND TELL THEM EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. IN THE MIDST OF SPACE AND BREAK UPS, HEARTS ARE BOKEN. THE TRUTH HURTS TOO, BUT THE MORE WE CONCEAL OUR TRUE FEELINGS THE MORE DIFFICULTIES IT CREATES.