Help Me Get to North Americans 2016


Thank you for supporting me on my journey to the IFBB Pro.  August 31st is the North American’s NPC National competition.  I am currently selling black bean, sugar free (sweetened with stevia), flour free, low carb, high protein, enhanced with whey isolate brownies to raise funds for nationals. #420 #madewithaloha #madewithlove.  Friends and family only. 808-377-0002 to support with an order. $10 each or $80 a pan (18 in a pan).



20 Beautiful Couture Gowns from Designers You’ve Probably Never Heard about

It’s been a while since I’ve done a fashion blog.  I’ve been looking at couture lately and I miss the fashion scene.  Here are 20 beautiful couture gowns I came across from designers that are not quite in the mainstream media.  Yes a fitness chick can love fashion.  If you didn’t know, I’m a fashion major.

  1. Zuhair Murad… I would take the gaudy stars and style this with a thorny crown of suggested stars and not so much literally.  That look will give it a more mature look as opposed to the youthfulness the stars project.
  2. evening-wear-haute-couture-by-zuhair-murad-2015-16-47

2. Shady Zeineldine… Mellifluous.  


3. Michael Cinqo.  Beautiful styling and contrast of color.


4. Victor Harper.  I love fringe.  Very 30’s.  This season glamour, bling and luxury are in style.


5. Jack Guisso.   Oppositional from the trend, I like this, it is very Marc Jacobs, very minimal as opposed to the ostentacious trends.


6. Ellie Saab.  Very Byzantine.  Love the fall colors and contrast of dark to nude lining (or is it see through?)


7. Christian Siriano. Romantic ingenue, classic of Sirano.


8. Yochi Ben.  Haven’t heard of this designer before but I love the Asian influance.


9. Dany Tabet.  An entire collection of BEAUTIFUL gown.  Very bling, gaudy and the perfect club dress for Vegas. (:  Hard to pick just one… so I picked two.  I am assuming he is Lebanese as he is from Beruit.  Notice the religious symbols in the second dress?



10. Delik Hanif.  Sometimes fashion is best done simply.


11. Pedro Loredo.  WHat a great silhouette and use of texture.  Notice the fabric?  Special prints like this take a lot of technical planning and increases cost due to production of specialty fabrics.


12. Ziad Nakad.. Simplistic and gorgeous.  I would have the model’s hair styled in a finger wave with dramatic eyeliner. Very 30’s.


13. Ziad Nakad.  I would suggest the same styling with this piece as well, which is from the same collection.


14. Alexandre Vauthier.  This was an amazing dress but I would’ve liked to see the model walk it better.


15. Jean Louise Sabaji.  Gorgeous use of texture and a unique contrast of textile. Sci Fi meets ingenue.


16. Darius Cordell.  Simplstic and gorgous.  I love the simple styling with natural makeup and natural hair.  I could see Queen Margery wearing this dress in Game of Thrones, or Kahleesi.


17. Julien Macdonald.  I love sexy dresses.  This is my personal favorite.  I would’ve chosen a taller model where this dress will hang, and someone more flat chested w ping pong breasts.  Dresses that show off cleavage often always look best on smaller women, unless you are going for the stripper look then DD’s will suffice.  And taller women, clothes will hang differently.  A ivory skinned red head would’ve rocked this look best.


18. Marchesa. Classic Marchesa romantic tones.   Very deconstructed which is very different for Marchesa which is usually very finished.  marchesa-001

19. Valentino Spring 2016 (Ok I know you’ve heard of Valentino but this collection was too gorgeous to be left out.)


The detail on this is AMAZING.  Very Byzantine/Early Christian.  A political statement by Valentino perhaps a religious statement?  Notice the snake in the photo above?  A religious symbol in Christianity as well.  Very Abyssinian.


20.  Nobody does couture like VERSACE




Ten Birthday Presents for a Fit Girl

1. The FIT BIT Surge


(in silver, gold or rose gold)



Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 $79


Ronnie Fieg Asics Gel Lyte V Rose Gold $320


Gel Lyte III Gold $165


4. Vitamix $449


5. Brazilian LEGGINGS!
La Bella Mafia $69


Zahler Black Butterfly $79




6. Who say’s you can’t have a fancy GUCCI gym bag?  $1,890


7. Karl Lagerfelds Boxing Collection by Louis Vuitton

Ok I’m dreaming.


8. a Spa Package at her Favorite Spa


9. Go Pro $399


10.  Hathaway Portable Volleyball Set  $70



10 Valentines Gifts for the High Maintenance Girlfriend

Ok… I admit… I’m high maintenance.  I like nice things.  I like thoughtful things.  I like the best in quality.  You don’t have to spend $3000 on Louis Vuitton.  But chances are if you get me something, you better make sure it’s in good taste.  Be unconventional.

  1.  I don’t ever really care for flowers on Valentines Day.  But I recently saw these Maison des Fleurs flowers. . (;  The ones that come in the clear boxes are really cool too.  Traditionally I love long stemmed orchids.  But I couldn’t resist these because they are may favorite color!❤tumblr_niy96iwzit1tf69j8o1_500

2. Maison Martin Margiele ‘Replica’ in “Beach Walk.”  ‘Replica’ exhibits uni-sex non-traditional perfume scents.  One of my favorite for men is “Jazz Club.”

 Normally $125. Only $75 HERE


3. Fit Bit Surge.  My passion is sports.  A boyfriend once got me wireless you buds for Valentines Day because he thought I’d appreciate it more than jewelry.  He was partially right!  Depends what kind of jewelry. (:


4. A spa day.  I got this a few years back after my boyfriend screwed up big time on Valentines Day.  It was a nice apology but I still don’t think it makes up for what he did.😦  Heaven on Earth was my choice to go to. The Valentines package was $250 for a facial, massage and body scrub and wrap at Heaven on Earth.  The website is currently down, as to question if they are still open.  My other favorite spa’s are Ihilani.  However I am informed that the Marriott Koolina is to shut down and become a Four Seasons so I’m excited to see what they will have to offer because Four Season’s spa’s have always been my favorite.  Aulani has an amazing spa as well, but is extremely pricey in contrast to other two.  However, please note: Heaven on Earth does not have a full spa.  It’s a great spot however in downtown honolulu that provides quality services at a good price.  Only the best for a special girl.

Aulani Spa


5. OK I don’t like fake jewelry but I did have a very nice cocktail ring from “Carat” once.  Everything set in genuine gold, and high quality scientifically produced replica diamonds you cannot tell the difference.   The value is there in the quality and beauty of the pieces without the high price of diamonds. Luxury without the luxury price. btw… Emeralds are my birthstone. (;

For the girl who likes something gaudy…
12 ct Verde Ring
420 GBP or $600 USD


For the girl who likes something simple
INDIA seven bar rows pave
69 GBP or $100 USD


Pink Hearts for You
.75-2 carats in white or yellow gold


6. Lingerie

Agent provocateur is probably out of the budget.  Some good brands that are in a good price range are Elle Macphereson, Cosabella, Betsy Johnson and Pleasure State. Victoria Secret is OK, but get her something better than “OK,” get her something really special.

Check out this website one of my FAVORITES


Get Lacy for under $40

Nouvel Emoi (40% off)


Turkish Crochet Lingerie by ‘Else”


Parah (Italian) Fine Lingerie


7. Chocolate

All chocolate is not created equal.  If you go to the mall and pick up Godiva or Sees Candy that is all dandy and all, but if you go out and pick something that speaks her language, it shows you went out of your way to get something a little more thoughtful.  The high maintenance girl doesn’t want branded trendy spots.  She wants something unique.  It’ll cost the same too.

“Paintbox of Desire” @Chocolate Art House
13 British pounds

Runz Sensual Chocolates $65


Bond Street Chocolatiers $14


Bond Street Dark Chocolate Buddha


8. A do-it-yourself project

Whether she wanted an accent wall painted, a mural, a day bed, a new coffee table or painting.  Make it yourself.  Homemade stuff is the best! Work within your skill level, don’t turn in an arts and craft project.  Youtube a DIY video.  Or find a piece of cheap furniture on craiglist and refurbish it by refinishing it or lacquering or painting it.  These presents mean the most to her!


Daybed made with palettes



I have puppy fever so this is the greatest gift you can give me lol.  It is a good test of what kind of parent you are going to be. (; I’m still waiting for a responsible time to get my Klee Kai.


10. Write Her a Love Letter

Nothing is more sexy than when a man puts his feelings down into words.  I love my love letters and cards with substance more than any present I’ve ever received.  More than any floral arrangement, more than any diamonds or gold or Manolo Blahniks.  Those letters and cards are still in a box somewhere. (:

Love letters


Food Prep without the Food Prep

I’ve been an NPC bikini competitor since 2013.  Over the years I’ve done my own experimenting with diet.  My conclusion is… they all work.  But at the end of the day I have to choose the one that is most appealing that I will stick to in the long run.  And for this reason, I picked the IIFYM macro diet.

When I first began to seek out professional help, I was provided with a 6 meal a day meal plan with clean eating, lots of lean proteins such as egg whites, white fish, chicken breast and carbohydrate sources such as sweet potato, brown rice and quinoa with a variety of vegetables.  This is the standard basic body builder diet.  I purchased a $150 6 pack bag to carry all my meals, followed by an $80 Iso Bag.  On Sunday’s I’d spend hours prepping all of my food and weighing them out into zip lock baggies for the week.  During the week I would prepare all my meals into tupperwares from ziplock baggies and carry around my meals in my 6 pack cooler bag.  Later on, I got tired of cleaning tupperwares and carrying around a bag so I simply threw ziplock bags into an iced cooler which became easier.  The novelty idea of having a bag to carry around my meals became annoying and cumbersome.  When friends wanted to go out to eat, I would always decline.  I had no life.  And after months of dieting I would have breaks and go on binge eating.  Basically, I gave myself a minor eating disorder because I was so obsessed with my food.  And the sad thing is that I didn’t ever enjoy it.

I’ve seen some fitness professionals posting about the kim chee ramen they eat daily, the chocolate cakes and pop tarts.  Their physiques were phenomenal.  I was skeptical and thought, that person has good genetics, they are lucky!  The same thing I have been accused of by skeptics.  The truth is, weight management is hard for a 30 year old mother and I too, regardless of genetics, have to watch what I eat.  I went from a 105 lbs McDonalds cheeseburger, fried kim chee  rice eating skin and bones to over 154 lbs over the years.  Although some of that is muscle, I will admit that there were times I allowed my weight to plummet out of control with my wine drinking and dining.  I LOVE fois grois, Buffalo Wild Wings and Angry Orchard Apple Cider, and while in Japan it was non stop sake, rice and tonkotsu pork ramen noodles.

So, I decided to give this macro diet a chance.  Basically you are allocated x amount of carbohydrates, x amount of protein, and x amount of fat per day.  It doesn’t matter if you eat 10 g. of fat from a serving of coconut oil, or if you get 10 g. of fat from a bowl of ice cream.  It will serve your physique and body the same.  Of course, there are more nutrients when it comes to coconut oil vs. ice cream, but if you are concerned about your physique then it doesn’t matter.

I am writing this blog to show you that you don’t have to prep 10 lbs of chicken and fish and eat boring.  I have incorporated a few of my favorite food items that are convenient. THERE IS NO COOKING in this meal plan (except maybe one piece of bacon).  It’s so easy my 10 year old  daughter can make these meals on her own.  At the end of the day, I am so much happier because I get to eat things I enjoy, it is at my convenience and I see results. Don’t believe me?  Check out my photos.

So here is a break down of MY macros on a HIGH CARB DAY.  Don’t try to copy mine, because everyone’s is different depending on their weight, height, age, goals and activity level.  I have 325 g of carbohydrates. 50 g of fat. between 135-155 g of protein depending on my current weight and how much muscle I want to maintain.


FAT: 48
CARBS: 316


Protein Cheerios 1.5 C
Skim Milk 3/4 C
Greek 100 Cal Key Lime Yogurt Cup
1 T Barleans Omega Swirl Fish Oil-Key Lime



Mission Low Carb Wrap
Spinach 2 C
Herb Roasted Turkey Breast (Colombus) 2 oz.
1 T Cabo Guacamole
1 T Island Salsa



1 C White Rice ( I just buy microwavable bowls)
Kohala Kim Chee 4 oz
2 Sheet Japanese Nori
2 oz Salmon Sashimi (or smoked salmon from Costco)
1 T Kikkoman Soy Sauce
1 T Wasabi



Jack in the Box Spicy Chicken Sandwich with no mayo or cheese


Protein Shake

1 C Silk Coconut Milk
2 C Spinach
2 oz Cucumber
4 oz Pineapple
1/2 scoop Oatmeal Cookie Lean Active 7 Protein Powder


Protein Elvis Sandwhich Open Face

P28 Protein Bread 1 slice
1 T Nuts N More Toffee Protein Peanut Butter
1/2 T Creamy Clover Honey (Millers)
1/2 7″ banana sliced
1 piece of Bacon (Kirkland aka Costco)


4 oz Tart Froyo
1 oz Strawberries
1 oz Mochi


As you can see I have fit all my macros in for the day and I have room for some desert, snacks, a little bit of guilty pleasures ie. Jack in the Box, bacon and you can play around with your proteins and vegetables.  I love cucumber kim chee and Japanese ocean salad.  Sesame Oil with some seaweed and chili flake is always good.  Sashimi, smoked salmon, fat free cottage cheese, eggs and bacon and spam musubis are some of my favorites to also incorporate.  Don’t starve yourself.  Eat and enjoy.


I do meal plans for only $99 and I can incorporate your favorite food items.


Hawaii the Local Way and Places to Visit if you Plan on Vacationing in Honolulu

If you’ve vacationed to Hawaii, chances are you spent $3000 for a week for overpriced water, expensive ocean front hotels in Waikiki and mediocre food at fine dining costs and inflated spa rates.  While this is the experience Hawaii wants to sell you to maximize the profits of the tourism industry Hawaii relies on, this is no representation of Hawaii.

Make a local friend or have a local tour guide. I mean don’t hire one from a tour agency.  Find a genuine local friend who will show you the sites.

Don’t stay in once place.  IF you plan on staying in Waikiki, try just to go for 2 or 3 days on the weekend so that you are close to nightlife, beaches and shopping.  Seeing Koolina, the North Shore and Kailua are all beautiful options.  Check Airbnb for houses to rent instead of expensive hotels.  I generally would avoid waikiki but it doesn’t hurt to stay a couple days.

Avoid touristy stuff that street hustlers sell you like luaus, parasailing, pub crawls, canoe rides, etc.

You can rent a car which is convenient, but if you are on a budget, the bus system is efficient to get everywhere you need to.  Renting cars in Hawaii is more expensive than other states.

bucket list things to do

Eat Hawaiian food.  “Ono’s” is rated as one of the top places to eat at, but I prefer the Lava Rock Special at “People’s Cafe” downtown, and you can order side orders ala carte.  The curry and squid luau is also particularly really good (luau leaf cooked with coconut milk) and if you want something a little more local try “Highway Inn.”


Go snorkeling.  At 6 am at Electric Beach there are always dolphins here every morning and it is one of my favorite snorkeling spots.  Get passed the shore break and you’ll find a surplus of marine life among the water pipe exiting out into the ocean. But be sure not to swim in front of the pipe where the water exits, as it will push you out to sea.  People will warn you there are reef sharks but I have never seen any and there have never been attacks.  Besides, reef sharks are generally harmless.  It’s great whites and tigers you have to watch out for. I say avoid Sharks Cove as it is touristy.  I’ve enjoyed snorkeling Waimea Bay but have been told it’s a dangerous spot.  It had really beautiful reef life when I went.  Just stay away from deeper waters and past pinballs (the surf spot.)  Although Hanauma Bay is a tourist spot as well, it isn’t too bad of a snorkel spot.  Try to go at 10 am when the sun is nice before the crowd on a less busy day like a Tuesday and go outside the reef with an experienced diver.  The insides have been damaged over the years by mass tourism.  The outside of the reef is untouched.  I’ve seen turtles and seals and sharks here.  Because sealife is so abundant, I believe it attracts sharks.  Just stay close to the rock wall and you will be fine.  If you go on a day when there is waves, it will be too murky to see anything, as the dusty sand is fine at Hanauma Bay and clouds the water.

the hot vent @ Electric Beach

Experience Hawaiian fine dining.  I recommend Hokus for Sunday Brunch. The whole fried fish for dinner is also one of my favorites and for $150 can feed 4 people with all the sides. Although it is a bit pricey, all brunch’s in Honolulu are generally expensive and this is one of the best apart from Orchids at the Halekulani, so budget for a nice ocean front Sunday experience.  Alan Wong’s is a MUST HAVE and also one of my favorite restaurants.  A new restaurant I especially love is the Vintage Cafe at Alamoana Mall.  It is a “secret society” themed restaurant I would budget $300 per guest for dinner.  Inside the restaurant are millions of dollars of priceless art work, including 18 original Piccasso’s.

cave_1Vintage Cave

Do the local hikes. Some popular local hikes are Aiea Loop Trail, Pill Box, Koko Head, Ice Ponds, Olomana, Maunawili Wili and the Hawaii Loa Ridge Hike.  I also recommend driving Tantalus drive as it is beautiful drive and don’t forget to take a drive around the island to the North Shore to hike the Boy Scout trail in Pupukea.  Koko Head is appx 30-60 minutes of non-stop uphill track.  This is popular among fitness enthusiasts.  If you have time for an all day I hike I would to the Hawaii Loa Ridge Hike.  Often I hike 1-2 hours upwards and turn around as it is a 6 hour hike.  But if you have all day it’s a beautiful ridge that starts on one end and you finish by peaking the ridge and following the trail down to the other end of the mountain.  Aiea Loop trail is appx. 4 miles but easy enough for small children.  Olomana can be vigorous, as you have to climb to get to the first peak.  I haven’t done all 3 peaks because my friends always slow me down unfortunately.😦   Ice Ponds is a great hike for kids.  It’s only 15 minutes on a paved trail then another 10 minutes climbing through mud with ropes down into a valley where the waterfall is located.  Check out “Island Trails” for some secret advanced trails on YouTube.

348sMaunawili Wili

Go to the sandbar.  Make some local friends and make your way out to Kaneohe for drinking on the water.  If you are military you can rent boats for $50 a day.


Hit shore break for some body boarding or some body surfing.  The 2 best shore break spots are Waimea on the North Shore and Sandys on the East side.  If you’re not an experienced swimmer please be cautious, these waves are unforgivable.  The first time I did shore break I was with my 7 and 8 year old nephews.  If they can rush overhead shore break, I guess so can I. ;/


Experience the local cafes. Some of my favorite cafes are Yogurstory on Keeaumoku.  Some of the best dishes are their specialty waffles, but I especially love their adobo big fat pig fried rice, and their prime rib loco moco. Bogarts Cafe in Diamond Head, always has a line outside, and has a large menu from bagel breakfast sandwiches to specialty waffles and pancakes to shrimp plates and strawberry salads and acai bowls.  Something for everyone.  Fresh Cafe on Queen St. is a great healthy spot with a wide variety or teas and salad and bagel sandwiches.  My favorite is the pesto pasta with a pesto turkey bagel sandwhich.  Kalapawai in Kailua is amazing if you’re going for breakfast deli style or the evening for dinner specials and wine tasting.  My favorite is the crab cakes with spiced marmalade and the ricotta spinach stuffed chicken. If you’re bugging for Korean plate lunches I would go to Dong Yang all the way in Wahiawa, perhaps on a drive home from the North Shore.  For $6 the giant plates are enough to feed 2 and this place is a local favorite spot for most.

yogurstory_waffle YogurStory_16_top


Dong Yang

Grab some Japanese Food and sushi.  Hawaii has some of the best Japanese influences and it shows in the variety and quality of restaurants available.  3 of my favorite spots are Naru Izakaya, Morio’s and Nobu if you are willing to spend the buck.  Nobu is higher in quality in Honolulu compared to their sister restaurants in San Diego, LA and Las Vegas.  For late night quality sushi, Evergreen Korean Hostess bar offers bomb sashimi plates + they have karaoke (:

Hit the ramen bars.  3 best ramen spots are Agu if you like tonkotsu rich broths, Nakamura if you are in for oxtail, and one of my favorite late night spots is Korean fusion Taiyo.  Kai use to be my favorite until they shut down.  The owner and cooks were all from Japan.  I think poor marketing and location did them in.  Don’t forget to get some ramen nabe @ Ichirki one of my favorite restaurants around.  They have 3 locations in Alamoana, Pearlridge and now Kaneohe.

shoyu tonkotsu

akamura Ramen oxtail fried rice and gyoza combo



Taiyo gyoza ramen combo and kimchee fried rice

Hit the LOCAL bars. NOT the tourist bars.  There is a beer brewery owned by the former bartender at Nobu’s called Pint and Jigger.  It’s over in Makiki and has a cool hipster crowd, delicious culinary appetizer bites and an amazing selection of beer.  Hideaway Bar is one of my favorite dive quiet spots if you are looking for rock music, pool, tattoo’d and bearded men and pin up and rocker chicks, and cheap beers.  Kelly Oneil’s is open late and is one of the few bars that has live rock bands.  You can smoke in here as well, and they serve really great pulled pork sandwiches outside late night.  A local favorite is Mai Tai bar at Alamoana if you want to hear live music in an open rooftop atmosphere.

shoppicPint and Jigger

Get a polynesian tribal tattoo… from Q @ House of Ink



How to Pick a Partner


Nope that’s not what I meant… but LOL

How do you pick a partner?  I don’t f***ing know.  I’m hopelessly single.  But I do know what I look for in a relationship.  My sister recently told me about a book that teaches you what to look for in a relationship.  I guess this is from the “post-divorce” section of the book store.  Nobody is perfect, but it’s finding the person who is compatible for us to make something last.

  1. Find out how you fight.  What is your fighting style?  Do you blow up and get emotional?  Are you unforgiving?  Are you too quick to forgive? Do you run away and blow off steam.  Are you unresponsive and avoid your issues?  The way two people deal with issues can make or break you.  I may be emotional and fiery in a moment and quick to cool down and forgive.  So maybe being with someone who understands that and understands to back away from the situation is the best person for me.  But even if that is not the case.  If he understands how you feel, maybe he can make that compromise to deal with you differently than he normally would because he understand that is how you deal with things, and you could make an effort to understand your way of dealing with things can be destructive and even though you may fail a few times, try to practice a more rational approach.  #growth

2. Find out how their parents “damaged” them.  Our parents are all good people (most of them) and their intention is never to hurt you, but we can’t help but have quirks in our personality or something negative about ourselves we inherited from our parents.  Me, for example, I have my dads temper.  And my parents controlling attitudes manifested in rebellion.  Taking the first step of self realization is important in personal development.  And expressing those weaknesses to your other half is a step in understanding the inner workings of their mind and how their pains or misunderstandings have developed into obstacles in their lives.  Being rebellious has hurt me in school, in work and in relationships.  Once I understood where this rebellious attitude came from, I realized, I don’t need to be rebellious anymore, and I let it go.  And I will never have that same attitudes towards raising my daughter.  I had a friend once tell me his dad unintentionally damaged him.  His grandfather was a championship boxer.  And he was a jerk and use to beat up people.  He even beat up the mail man once.  His father hated it so much, that he was a peaceful person.  He mistook this for his dad “being a pussy.”  This instilled in his mind, and he went through an extremely rebellious period that he had to be “hard” and “gangster” to prove himself, and this time period where gangster rap and rebellious attitudes was a “trend” contributed to the issue.

3. Ask them to name their best traits and a few of their worst.  Give them time to show they have good self esteem.  A person with poor self esteem will have a hard time talking positively about themselves.  And someone who can be honest and real about their short comings understands themselves and shows promise for growth.

My best: Sexy, Intelligent, Competitive, Ambitious.

My Worst: Impatient. Fickle. Retaliating. Emotional.

4.  What are you goals?  Have an understanding of what is in your future.  Is it ambition?  Big business? Small business? Marriage? Children? Do you have desire to do philanthropical work?  Often This is a major stopping point for me.  I’ve met so many great people that I’m compatible with, but often one is terrified of children, or some are divorced and never want to marry again.  I have a child, so sometimes instal-family isn’t always what people thought it was and they are left thinking… “I signed up for this?”  Having these conversations early is a great way to begin a relationship.  Nonetheless… people don’t always know what they want, and in the moment they could’ve  thought this is what they wanted, and 6 months or 8 years down the road, they could decide still, this is not what I want.  Make sure that what you want is clear.  Don’t give into wants, egos and desires.  Look at this maturely from an outside perspective and genuinely come to meet someone that has mutual goals as you.  Be honest.  I think people tend to mask their true feelings with lies to prevent being hurt again.  I think opening up to love is greater than being stuck in single land, but really missing having something great again but being too scared to take a chance.  I’ve ran into that a lot and it’s a lot more common than you know.  I’ve been guilty of it, especially after an intense break up, when you need time to heal.

5. Find out their personality types.  And how they make decisions.  There are 4 personality types.  Imagine a cross with 4 segments.  The upper is dominant, the lower is submissive.  The other sides are divided by rule breakers and rule followers.  When you intertwine these 4 traits they create 4 personality types.  Understanding the way these personalities interact with one another will bring strength to the relationship.  It’s not about being compatible.  Each relationships has different strengths and weaknesses, and understand what they are will help you to emphasize on those strengths, and how to improve on your weaknesses.  I am a monkey.  I am unfocused party animals, promoter, instigater, wild, etc.  A lion is a leader and in business can help me stay grounded and focused.  But in a relationship, an owl is the thinking quiet methodical type and is actually best for me because they keep me grounded.  Other monkeys are great for friends and party people.  And Koalas are a good emotional support for me, but I know for a fact I could NEVER date a Koala.  And dating another monkey would be like dating a Gemini.  I’ve done it, and it lacks the emotional stability I need.  Although, it’s a lot of fun, the grounding energies of a Lion or an Owl is what I need.

I’m still unsure about what the decision making options are.  I understand I am emotional and not rational and I look to my partner to come up with a solution.  I get really upset when my partner makes a decision without me.  He doesn’t need my permission but discussing things is always healthy.


There are many facets of relationships such as communication, political/social/economic/religious views, financial stability, emotional issues etc. However, having a deeper understanding of the person you are with will help you or ultimately break you in the end.  Every relationship is hard and takes work and dedication, but the base for a healthy relationship that is going to last will be dependent on if you have a solid FOUNDATION and this comes from a mature understanding.

If you’re running a business, conventional wisdom states that you’re a much more effective business owner if you study business in school, create well thought-out business plans, and analyze your business’s performance diligently. This is logical, because that’s the way you proceed when you want to do something well and minimize mistakes.

But if someone went to school to learn about how to pick a life partner and take part in a healthy relationship, if they charted out a detailed plan of action to find one, and if they kept their progress organized rigorously in a spreadsheet, society says they’re A) an over-rational robot, B) way too concerned about this, and C) a huge weirdo.